Can you make a player fall in love with you? to want you more?
In this post, I’ll ignore the question of whether you even should, and I’ll show you how to win the heart of any player you like.
What is a “Player” Anyway?
1. A guy who is skilled at manipulating (“playing”) others, and especially at seducing women by pretending to care about them, when in reality they are only interested in sex.
2. A guy who doesn’t understand the meaning of a relationship
3. A guy who often “dates” several girls at the same time (girls are often unaware of each other)
4. A guy who will shower you with attention one day but be unavailable physically and/or emotionally the next day. There will always be what seems like a legitimate excuse for the vanishing act that sounds highly convincing.
Mostly accurate, right?
Can You Change a Player?
Maybe you won’t agree with me, but I don’t think that a player was genetically programmed to be one. I don’t believe that players are emotionally unavailable.
I don’t think they are commitment phoebes and I don’t think they can’t change.
I know for a fact that even the hard-core player can become a “stayer”.
The Secret to Making a Player Fall for You
It seems that the player is unable to fall in love. It seems that he only cares about himself.
It seems that he is only interested in sex and will toss you like an old sock after he gets what he wants.
He has tons of charisma and charm. Women are attracted to him like bees to honey and I’ll bet you feel you have nothing special to offer to make yourself stand out in the crowd.
But you’re wrong.
You CAN easily make him realize you’re the only woman he is really into.
You CAN break down his walls and shatter his fear (yes, he is afraid!).
And you can make a player fall in love with you and only you.
The trick is simply to BE DIFFERENT.
Not by making more noise.
Not through your clothes and makeup.
And not by mastering the art of flirting.
Just by being different from all the other women surrounding him, drooling over him.
You see, most women don’t know about the secret psychological loopholes in the male mind. All males.
I’ve learned that you only need to take 3 simple steps to make any guy you want to become obsessed with you.
Step #1 – Hint That You Don’t Need Him
The first step you need to take is to make your crush fully understand that you DON’T NEED HIM.
Neediness, in any relationship, is the opposite of attraction.
Women are turned off by it too. Think about it: Are YOU attracted to needy guys who say that they can’t live without you? That seems to have no life other than you?
Even the most “experienced” players can’t resist a woman who knows her worth, loves herself and knows who she is, without ever bothering herself with how other people feel about her.
Step #2 – Be Calm about You Situation
As women are more emotionally evolved, they tend to like drama.
Guys, on the other hand, hate the drama. They look for calmness and peacefulness.
This plants a “future seed” in their brain, without them realizing it.
Step #3 – Make It His Idea to Chase You
This is probably the most important step you have to take.
You have to make it HIS idea to pursue you and chase you.
Men naturally love the thrill of the chase and when he finally lands you (after a lot of hard work 😉), his ego will go through the roof.
As old fashioned as this sounds, when you play the hard to get card – you are on the right track.
This won’t only increase his desire for you, but it will start this relationship – on your terms.
Should You Stay Away from a Player?
You’ve probably heard this over and over again:
“Do not fall for a player.”
“Avoid players at all costs.”
“Players will only use you and then get rid of you.”
Statically speaking, the last statement is probably true.
But unfortunately, most of us can’t control who we crush on, and can’t shut down our feelings.
When it comes to players, It’s especially hard because they are usually super hot, know how to melt you in seconds and treat you like a princess (until they get what they want).
If you can’t just get over your crush on a “player”, you should know you don’t have to.
You don’t have to become yet another phone number in his little black book.
And get your guy.
👉 Read: Is he serious about me – or just playing?
Rooting for ya,
Hey!! Umm i hav a situation. This guy who is apparently a player wants to marry me and he says he wont touch me till i say yes nd he puts a ring on me. He s been persistent for a month and a half now and i ve shown no interest but i like him but im scared. What should i do?? Well i like him of sorts.
Lisa Redfield says
If you are not completely head over hills for him – why not give it a try? 🙂
I’ve been seing this guy for like 4 months now and he’s the definition of player, we started just talking a flirting occasionally but now I’ve become his booty call, thing is he’s been my ultimate crush for 2 years and now that this is happening I don’t want it to end, BUT I’ve started to develop feelings for him even though he told me early on that no feelings were to be involved. He’s constantly telling me he wants a relationship and steady girlfriend, and I would really like to be able to jump from being just one of the girls he sleeps with to like the girl he actually wants to be with but I don’t know what to do to achieve that. I could really use some insight and advice, please.
Lisa Redfield says
Here’s my post about how to deal with a FWB relationship: https://howtogetaguytowantyou.com/friends-with-benefits-advice/
My best friend”s cousin is known to be a player. I have known him since we were in Elementary, and I have always had a crush on him. He never wanted anything serious with me. One day, we both decided that we could try the whole friends with benefits thing. I haven’t slept with him, but he insists in doing so. I wish I could tell him, but I am too scared. He has told me that I am beautiful and that he likes what he sees, but I feel like we are emotionally unattached. Everyone tells me to move on, but I can’t help it, I really love this guy. It has gotten to the point where I have cried. I know all of his family and they love me, but I can’t seem to show him that I am worth it. I feel like we would be a great couple. Please help, I really need some insight.
Lisa Redfield says
First of all you don’t have to “show him that you are worth it”. This can’t be shown. It only “works” when you truly believe it. Do YOU believe it?
I have been seeing this guy for about 2 months now, he is my cousins Best friend. My cousin told me to watch out for him since he is a player and likes to be with multiple women. We both decided we want things to be casual and nothing serious, I was his booty call and he was mine. But as we kept spending time together he started to change and told me he never felt like this with another girl in a long time, tells me likes me (potentially falling for me) says he misses me and even admitted to having sex with another girl which he did not have to tell me since we are nothing but a casual fling. I have never spoke to him about how I feel cause I do not want to scare him away. Once he told me he had sex with another girl, I went silent for a few days and he constantly texted me and when I replied he asked me out to movie. He doesnt take girls and he told me this himself but also my cousin was shocked when i told him that his best friend took me to the movies. He does not call me for booty calls we just sometimes text here and then. I havent seen him since that movie night and im really confused. Can you please give me some help and advice for this situation of mine. I know theres something there but I do not want to force and push this person away.
Lisa Redfield says
I think you’re doing everything just right. Just hang in there, don’t chase him or text him too much. Just be patient.
My player is confusing, when we started I knew what I was getting into. However it’s what I wanted, nothing serious. So as my player went from him and I only Playing to all of a sudden no sex , however now it’s dinner dates and actually hanging with my family. I love this man, but I’m confused with the no sex and not even a kiss, sweet hugs but that is all and has been this way for months, we have been on and off for a year. No sleepovers, but I get text all day and a nightly FaceTime. But the kicker is he knows I’m willing to try a real relationship with him now, but he takes no action. I still haven’t met 1 of his friends, I know he talks to them about me and his family knows who I am hints a few friend request. Oh and he is still on tender… so if someone can help me with this player issue, I’d appreciate it.
Jade Siress says
Maybe he’s not comfortable getting intimate for some reason.
I don’t think you can change a player. I’ve been dealing with such a guy. I’ve been following motorcycle lessons and he’s my instructor and very handsome. At first very charming and sweet, then flirty, we even had dinner once and the lessons after that talks about wanting to have sex with me. I was disappointed, because I really started to develop feelings for him and thought it could have been something serious. I haven’t slept with him yet. But I must admit I don’t think I can resist him any longer. He’s quite persistent. I’m afraid that if I do sleep with him, I’m going to have more feelings for him. I don’t know what to do or how to change him? I think he’s unchangeable.
He 95% won’t change. If you are already having these strong feelings for him you should NOT sleep with him. You’ll only set yourself up for heartbreak. January will be 7 years with my player and if I’d known I’d fall this hard I’d do it differently. Not only that but it messes with my self-esteem pretty badly because this man doesn’t want me forever too.
I’m in love with a player, who’s in love with himself. He wants nothing to do with me because I’m not what he considers sexually appealing. I’ve tried so many ways & so hard to bring his playing to an end & see that I’m great for him. I think my mistake is… I give him everything he wants, when he wants it. I never tell him no to money, gifts, etc. Yes we’ve had hot spots & maybe I just gave it up too soon. I just want to know if I can still have a chance even though I’ve done all the things these articles claim I shouldn’t have? Am I able to fix what I did? I’m so in love with him & it’s killing me to see him flirt it up & give all his attention to other women, & listen to him mention how sexy other girls are.
Lisa Redfield says
This is all about your self worth. I think you are feeling used because you are. And the reason you are is because you believe this is what you deserve, and nothing more. We always attract people who demonstrate to us, by the way they treat us – what we think and feel about ourselves.
I know this sounds harsh, but it’s what I believe, and I really think that this perspective can help you out.
So, can you change it? Instantly. It’s not the actions you have to change, but the way you feel about yourself, and what you deserve.
Girl have some self respect. B strong. Move on
‘Players’ need love, too! 🙂 I have a player in my life who I chalked up to being a fling and tried to cast aside, but 3 years later he’s still chasing. I’ve decided to let him in finally. But, I have prepared myself for the ride. I’ve developed feelings for him over the past few years as the chase pursued. I try to have faith in his words, because to be fair, I don’t think he knows what actions to take with a real woman once he has caught her. For example, he would hint at a visit, but then not show. I was thinking I was being played/stood up, but he was fishing for an invite that I never extended. So I straight up asked him one day if that was what he was waiting for, and it was. So I’m being patient with him. I might not like that he’s a player, but I also dont want to change the person I am falling for. Knowing he has this trait and accepting that it’s my choice to stay or go is a very different experience than not knowing or accepting, and falling prey to it unexpectedly.
Yes you can change a player. Or more importantly they can choose to change. I became involved with a player of some magnitude who had never settled or stayed faithful. But we are now happily married for 5yrs together for 7 and I for one have no concerns of him going back too his old ways. He told me he feels no need because he has finally found what he needed and wants in his life.
Lisa Redfield says
That’s great! You confirm exactly what I think about players…thank you for sharing this with us and giving girls hope …:)
Thus player and I are talking he has recently cheated on his past girlfriends and has a huge reputation for cheating. he says I’m beautiful and he liked me even when he was in the relationship. He showers me with complements but still manages to treat me like a friend, do you think he really likes me or is he just saying it. He told all his friends and mine, which is true, but I still think he just wants in my pants.
Lisa Redfield says
If you are not sure, just wait for more. If he stays and persists, it’s a good sign.
I have deep feelings for a player who I met about 10 ish months ago. We have a ton of things in common and get along really well, which is funny because we were complete strangers. He approached me in our college library last fall …Anyways I knew he didn’t want anything serious because he told me, but anyways we continued to stay friends. He would still flirt here and there but I assured him we cannot do anything if we’re going to be friends (never have btw) because I wanted to get to know him. At some point, I realized through his words and actions he is in fact a player/fckboy. I got scared and I cut him off from social media. Ran into him last month and later on that night through the text I basically called him out saying how I liked hanging out with him before but that I grew scared that he only wanted one thing from me and how I felt I was just another girl. Tbh it felt pretty good to say what I was feeling finally lol. He said that’s not what he wanted (which I don’t believe really), that he liked hanging out with me and that I’m a good friend. He apologized and said it was his fault. So I said ok, and I will tell you next time I’m in town. However, I don’t want to do this because I don’t want to be chasing him. I haven’t added him back on social media either because I figured it’s best to let it be where it’s at. I have been just being myself this entire time because I do like him. Do you have any advice for me?
Lisa Redfield says
I think that you are doing great and made the right decisions. You can leave the fear out of it though – there is nothing to fear. I believe he meant what he said about you being a good friend. I would try to get to know him better, and for longer, before you decide what type of relationship you’d like with him.
What did you do to change him?