Constantly getting jealous.
Fearing that he’ll cheat on you, or that he’ll fall for someone else.
Worrying that he’ll lose attraction.
Running out of things to say.
These feelings are only some of the things you have to deal with when you’re in a long-distance relationship.
Your mind questions whether it’s even worth it, But your heart can’t let go.
Before we start, can you let me know what’s the hardest part of your LDR?
Just click one of the answers in the poll below:
Do you think it’s possible to “survive” an LDR? To have the relationship of your dreams – when you always worry
that he is slipping away?
In my opinion, the answer is YES.
You can handle a long-distance relationship with your boyfriend – with the same confidence as you would he was right here, right now.
In this post you’ll find:
1. How to stop worrying that he’ll lose attraction or cheat.
2. How to communicate and never run out of things to talk about.
3. How to keep the passion and excitement alive.
1. How to Stop Worrying He’ll Cheat or Fall for Someone Else
Are you afraid that he’ll lose attraction? Fall for someone else? Cheat on you?
Don’t beat yourself up.
It’s completely normal to feel like this in a long distance relationship.
It’s that annoying insecure little voice in your head that screams every time he tells you that he went clubbing or when he doesn’t text you back in 30 seconds.
The hard truth is that bottom line, you can’t prevent your boyfriend from falling for someone else or cheating on you.
But this is true in ALL relationships, not just long-distance ones.
A guy can cheat even when he is married and living with his woman, right?
If he wants to cheat – he will cheat.
If he likes someone else – he can fall for her.
This is true no matter where he is.
Nothing drives a guy away more than insecurity, low self-esteem, and jealousy.
The more confident and independent you’ll be, the less he’ll be likely to cheat on you or develop a romantic interest in someone else.
If you feel jealous, first work on your insecurities and you’ll see your jealousy disappear on its own.
2. How to Communicate in a Long Distance Relationship
The key to keeping your LDR alive and passionate is communicating – the right way.
Since you don’t see each other, the right communication is the only way to keep your emotional connection and your love for each other.
👉 Sending a romantic and cute LDR gift is also a great idea. See the top 19 gift ideas for your long distance boyfriend!)[/yellowbox]
Here are a few great tips to remember at all times:
Communicate every day
Find the time to communicate with your boyfriend every day.
It doesn’t have to always be through the phone. There are many ways to talk and mixing it up a bit will keep the spark between you two and prevent boredom and routine.
Tell him or text him every day that you love him and that he is always on your mind.
👉 If you feel that you’re running out of ways to create a conversation, here are 34 topics to talk about with your boyfriend (over text)
Texting This Way is Powerful
While talking on the phone or Skype is best – sometimes you (or him!) just don’t have the time for it.
Texting something funny, playful, and flirty a few times a day is a great way to show him that he is on your mind and that you love him.
Send a love text message. Ask for advice. Share something funny that happened just now.
👉 If you’re out of ideas – here are 88 fun questions to ask a guy (you’ll be surprised to find a few you’ve never asked before…)
Even better – pictures.
One picture is worth a thousand words, right?
People love pictures. And so does your boyfriend. If you’re out with your friends or working out, or anything else – send him a picture of you.
He’ll love getting a picture of you doing your favorite Yoga pose or just having coffee with a friend (girl-friend preferably…)
3. Be Patient
Both of you have a life. Be patient and don’t expect that he answers all your calls and texts in seconds.
Just because he hasn’t answered you right away does not mean that he has lost interest in you. And don’t listen to rumors. Trust your judgment.
Not knowing where he is or what he does all the time is not a reason to get jealous and anxious.
Be confident. Know your worth. This way you’ll stay calm and your relationship will stay calm.
You Can Still Do Things Together
Just because you’re not physically next to each other, doesn’t mean that you can’t do things together:
Watch the same movie or read the same book and talk about it later (or during).
Resolve Conflicts Immediately
Do you remember that old advice – don’t go to sleep angry?
This advice is critical in a long distance relationship.
Clarify a problem when it arises, or as soon as humanly possible (unless it’s late and you’re both too tired to think rationally).
Don’t leave a conflict hanging. End the conversation when you’re both on the same page and everything’s back to normal.
3. How to Keep the Love and Excitement Alive
Keeping the excitement and the romance alive are the hardest things about an LDR.
Sadly, memories and feelings can fade over time.
The good news is, that thanks to video chat, texts, Skype, and email, it’s much easier to keep the love in a long distance relationship.
According to well-known relationship expert Bob Grant, it’s possible to grow stronger over an LDR.
In his LDR Survival guide, I’ve found a lot of great ways to keep things exciting and unexpected, even if you are hundreds of miles apart.
Most couples in an LDR make the mistake of trying to make it work using the limited knowledge they have, only to become more lost and frustrated.
The distance between you and your boyfriend reveals the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.
And with the right knowledge, you’ll have the power to control your relationship, even if you can’t control the circumstances of your separation.
(I recommend Bob Grant’s Long Distance Love Guide to find out exactly how to do that and how to use a few powerful techniques to handle your LDR in confidence and without anxiety, jealousy, and fear.)
What do you think? Is love enough in an LDR? What’s the most important aspect when you’re in one?
Rooting for ya,
Okay, so I’ve been married for abt 2 years now nd my husband and I are in an LDR because he’s in school finishing his program. But the thing is that we barely talk. I mean I text him most of the time and send him goodnight texts and all but he just doesn’t really look for me the way I do. He always says he’s busy and that he’s studying and stuff. But when he comes here for a visit I took his phone once and he was texting girls and smoking with them and he cheated on me once I didn’t know what to do so I let him go back and I confronted him on the phone and told him I don’t love him nor do I want him I didn’t talk to him for abt 30 days when all did was text me and call me begging me to forgive him and it was all a mistake that he was smoking with that girl and it just happened… at the end, I told him I’ll give him a chance since I’m having his baby. I couldn’t trust him anymore I was hurt and lonely and I never forgave him or anything… after that we had problems but I was tired of fighting I told him I’m just gonna forget everything that happened and move on and forgive him for real this time… so I did and I went back to who I am started looking for a way to make myself better because all I felt was it was all me I probably wasn’t good enough for him… after a while, I took his phone again when he came back to visit and he still texting other girls and still smoking with them. I don’t even mention it to him anymore I just end up crying alone feeling like shit. The same part is that he says he’s always busy and he’s always studying but he has time to text them and smoke with them and just be around them instead of calling or looking for his pregnant wife. I’m sorry I’m just mad that I have to go through this when all I did was love him. I have changed so much because I now see him differently. Now I don’t kno what to do anymore. He still doesn’t really look for only once every 3 days that’s if I don’t text him. I was saying that the next time he comes I will take his phone again and see if he is filtering or texting any girl. I will leave him. I just really want someone to tell me what they think of this situation and to tell me if I’m crazy!
hi i am in 5 years LDR and this isnt the first time i caught him cheating (based on social media) and i personally dm-ed the girls. after that things went well idk why and how did i forgive him. few days ago things as expected i caught him cheating AGAIN when we were joking around in a conversation where i said that he might have another women and he said he did(jokes or not idk abt this) and then i started to ask his friend and they said its true…. surprisingly the girl is just as i suspected but back then i was telling myself that they were just a friend bcs i dont want to look like a clingy and over jealous. everything was fine our relationship is good before. we chat each other everyday like 24 hrs and i did asked him if he was bored with me or not but he said he didn’t. so where did it goes wrong??? is it my fault??? we even share our life story telling what happen today but why? i am one of pretty girl tho and i rejected few guys just for him. yet, this is what i get? he’s not even handsome but i dont really care abt it bcs for me, heart is what matter. so tell me. whose fault it is?
This is really helping me in dealing with the situation I’m in right now …..thanks a lot
I’m confused. i’ve been in LDR for 2 years now and we’re fine until this monday when he suddenly told me that he feel empty and that he don’t know if he loves me or not. the thing is he said he miss me and that he can’t imagine his life without me. after we discussed bout it i told him to just break up with me. to me it’s no use if there’s no love anymore so we went on video call and i want him to say it right on my face but he can’t . he said after seeing me he just can’t say it. so we decide to stop contact for a week so he can sort things out but it’s only been a day and he already text me where i am for not replying his text. i actually wanna use your 60 day no contact rule but now idk if i should reply to his text or not. we didn’t break up yet but it as if we already are. i honestly confused myself . idk what to do
Lisa Redfield says
I think he is just having a hard time dealing with the distance between you two and his heart is not the same as his head, which tells him this can’t work because of the distance. On the other hand, he could be avoiding telling it to your face because he doesn’t want to hurt you. So yes, I would do some form of no contact, maybe for 30 days. You can answer this text and let him know that you’re taking some time to yourself and won’t be in contact with him.
I hope this helps and good luck!
thank you so much. i’ll take your advice and wish me good luck
we broke up and it’s been 2 weeks now. I apply the no contact but I thought about doing it for 30 days. So far I didn’t bother him or act clingy and I’m trying so hard from checking on him or text him. We never meet, do you think I still have chance with him? Should I keep trying and be patience or just give up and move on ?
Lisa Redfield says
I think that you may want to decide about this after at least 30 days are over. But, in these 30 days you must focus on yourself, keep busy and do you best to keep him out of your mind.