Comments

  1. I read this, but what if this guy is sending you mixed signals. He says he’s open to getting back together in the future, but wants to date other girls right now, but he hasn’t actually dated other girls since we broke up. What do you do with mixed signals?

    • Rachel,

      Saying that he is open to getting back together in the future is not a sign that he secretly wants you back.
      It’s not a mixed signal at all.

      It’s a guy who has decided he (stupidly) wants to look for something better and wants to keep you hanging until he decides.

      You have to do what ever you can to make him understand that you’re not waiting for him. If he even thinks that you are, he’ll let you wait around for months or even years.

      He has to understand that you are moving on, and for you sake – You should really move on. You can’t wait around for no one, nor be second best.

      I know it’s heart breaking to realize this, but I know that you are strong enough to know that this is your chance to go and find the guy that will treat you and love you the way you should be loved.

      • I know it’s hard to do giving up, and I hope that is what you did. I am currently on round two of the breakup cycle with this guy who keeps going back to his ex gf… says i mean a lot to him and that he is sorry he couldn’t give me 100 percent of the attention I deserve… he finally text on a day i was not available to meet to give me a face to face apology he says i deserve and i do, and really need it… but after waiting several more days and no more messages from him, he is now completely blocked on social media and my phone. I love him and right at this moment would love to have our happily ever after but I refuse to settle for being the option. You are better than that too!!!

  2. After 7 months just sent him a email about a certain vitamin he was on, and asked did it work for you his response to me was, it was good that’s all he responded to him

    I sent him another email I said thankyou I will try that vitamin and he didn’t reply to me, I really think after 7 months no contact not through phone emails it really is over

    how many times can we lower our pride really

  3. Hello ,
    I want to ask that my bf had brokeup with me we wer in a 2 years relationship. bt he still calls me and text me and I told him that if its over then plzz dont be in contact with me …so can you tell me that he really want to be together with me… Plzz help me

  4. Hello,

    I recently broke up with an Ex of six months.
    We went through a period of no contact and he text me saying he appreciated me more now and enquired if I had found a ” replacement for him yet!” in which his response was ” great!”. We arranged to meet up, went to the cinema and subsequent sleeved together eek etc. Since he called and text me more regularly than usual as well as calling me pet names like sweetheart, bae, my medicine etc but insists we are just friends. I’m really confused. I want to cut off contact as the mind games are confusing me, but he insists of the friendship citing he wants me in his life.

    Why? What does this mean. I can’t figure him or this out!

    • Tanya,

      I think that he is interested in a friends with benefits relationship.
      You’ll have to decide if this suits you or not. But that’s what he wants for now, in my opinion.

  5. Hi Lisa,

    I want to ask about my 5 months relationship. I doubt my boyfriend whether he really loves me or not. Whenever I asked him a question just to make everything’s clear, instead of answering my question he always telling me “why? You dont trust me?” i am freaked out by this. We always argue and fight all the time because of this. I just feel like many things he hide from me. And he always telling me, “i know you always dont trust guys because of your bad experience with your ex. But please change your attitude because i dont like to be with some1 who doesnt trust me and ask many questions”… the arguing still would continue. I just ask him a question and he should just answer instead of countering me back and blame me because of “i dont trust him”. I really want to know what actually he feels about me.

    Please kindly advice what should i do. Thank you so much.

    • Asa,

      I think that what happens with you two is a kind of a vicious circle. Maybe you do have a few trust issues because of your ex. This makes you question him in a way that he feels untrusted. When he feels this, it makes him automatically not want to answer your questions because he feels interrogated. This makes you ask even more questions and trust him even less, and so on.
      You could try to break the cycle. You can try to stop asking him any question that could make him feel “questioned”, even for just a little while (a couple of weeks) and see how this changes things.
      I’ll bet it will, because it will break the cycle.
      I hope this helps and good luck!

  6. My ex calls my family every other day . Have casual talks also gets updates on me and is trying to come to our holiday parties. Yet he tells my mom and cousin we’re friends and he’s giving me space. But I haven’t spoken to him in 7 weeks. Is he avoiding me and just wants my family or do he miss me ?Totally confused

  7. I texted my ex after i broke up with him last year and he answers back in like 2 minutes but the thing is he doesnt text first or after a while of texting he just stops.. what does that mean.

  8. My name is Jennifer and I am in a bad situation. About almost 3 months ago ,my ex blocked me from a Long distance relationship. I am scared because I said a lot of things I didn’t mean to him . We kept arguing until he told me he didn’t want to be hurt by me anymore and didn’t want to be fooled by me either.These last 3 months I’ve been trying to contact him through other emails and email but he deleted his email yesterday. After blocking me so much on new emails and texting apps. I guess he didn’t trust me since I have his number away before we had a huge fight 2 weeks later. I told him that I self harmed and I thought he broke up with me for doing it .I got so pissed from his reaction ,I thought he would be there for me. But he said he was “out.” I was so confused for this long and he refused to talk to me .I know I have his number away but it was to a friend that wanted to talk about why he reacted the way he did. She then said mean stuff to him because he mistreated me ,she did not tell me about this. I guess it was my fault for the most part and I feel this every day . What should I do??? He doesn’t to talk to me.

  9. What when you deal with a narcissistic ex boyfriend who shows interest then retrieve only to comment of Facebook as if we were friends. You need to differienciate between a normal person and a manipulator.

  10. Okay, so I’m in a crazy situation! Me and my ex bf have been together almost 2 and a half years we broke and he said he wanted to stay “ friends and have an intimate relationship for now. We do have a child together but about a week ago we hung out at my brothers place over the weekend he had lunch with my brother and his friends and stayed and hung out but after he kissed me and said he missed me before he left to see his new girl my friend saw them together a couple days later holding hands but they don’t think it means anything he hasn’t talked to me at all and he unsubscribed my number but he will try to call me on different numbers one in a while but he doesn’t say anything when I pick up when I know it’s him. And i tried calling him on different numbers as well but he ignores them. So I stopped contacting him but I just want to know what’s going on with him Can you please help me and tell me what this means 🙁

    • I think this means he is trying to get over but still can’t. I would give it some time and in no way contact him, other than talking about your child of course.

  11. It’s been 21 days since we last talked. The problem related to my ex fiance, a more committed relationship. The reason behind breaking up is because he fears the responsibility that will come with marriage especially that he’s parents died 14 years ago (our wedding was supposed to be in August). After a week, he made his sister call and request another chance since I was not answering his calls nor replying to his messages. Yet the problem was magnified and parents refused any chances for him. I stalk him daily and sense from his tweets that he is doing his best to get over it although he blocked me on whatsapp. I sincerely miss him and dream of him almost every other day. I am leaving the country as a way to forget him and move on. I keep thinking of calling him as I really miss hearing his voice but I don’t want to be rejected. Even if I contacted him should it be a farewell call or should I convince him to not give up. Our anniversary is after a few days too!

  12. Me and my boyfriend broke after a 2 month relationship. I was the one to end it due to him not opening up to me about ANYTHING. I knew he was a quiet guy but it felt to me like something was on his mind and he wouldn’t say. After I broke up with him a few days later he texted and basically accused me of hanging out with my ex which is the father of my child. Also blamed me for texting my ex and hiding it from him which was not true at all.. the only communication we had between us was about our child together. After that argument he told me he didn’t want to get back into anything when he was having so much doubt. It was hard, but I let it go and I thought it was the end of it. Just out of the blue he texts me to ask me how I was doing. I didn’t know how to respond as I was out with a few girlfriends that night and I was a bit tipsy lol so drunk me kind of questioned him a bit about why he was talking to me. He said sorry it was just a question and he will stop. I haven’t heard from him in a few days but he has a few things belong to me that I can’t seem to get back from him. Ive asked him a few times if I can come pick up my stuff and I’m waiting for him to get back to me but still nothing. I don’t know what to think.. it feels like he’s playing games with me. Or using my things as leverage to keep me in his life. What do you think??

    • I think that he wants to be with you but he has issues with jealousy and controlling, which implies to a low self esteem issue. In any way, I would consider that this is his state of being at this point and would not expect him to change if you get back together in some way.

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