Flirting with a guy over text is a bit scary, isn’t it?
He can’t see, hear, smell, or feel you at the moment. It feels like your entire existence is being judged by what and how you text.
You have to be your best self, or you won’t get another chance to start a conversation or make him think of you.
How can you be playful, witty, flirty, and charming – in only 1 or 2 sentences?
I want to put an end to your texting anxiety.
In this guide about how to flirty messages over text, I’ll show you that it’s much easier than you think.
Flirting with your crush over text can be fun, easy, and fail-proof, if you follow a few simple “rules” you’ll see below,
(Plus you’ll get 37 flirty text message examples, to help you get started)
📢 Did you just meet this guy today? here’s how to text a guy you just met 😍
How to Flirt With a Guy over Text (Without Being Obvious)
Let’s say you just signed up for Match.com. What do you text the guy?
Follow these easy guidelines and you’re on your way to winning his heart through text:
1. Be Unique (By Being Yourself)
You want him to like YOU, not a made-up person he won’t recognize when he talks to you face to face.
Write something that no one else would write but you.
By writing about the experiences you’ve shared. About things that you talked about or laughed about in person.
* “That band you told me about is playing this weekend. You going?”
* “Hi Cutie! How do you think you did on the English test?”
👉 There’s one big mistake most women make when they’re texting a guy… Which practically ensures he’ll leave you hanging….rather than
texting you back right away.
And that mistake is: They don’t text in a way that HOOKS HIS ATTENTION.
Here’s a text that hooks a man’s attention (how-to video)
2. Use His Name
When you strike up a conversation, try to use his name occasionally. Especially in your first text. This will get him subconsciously engaged in the conversation and make him feel closer to you.
If you have a silly nickname for your crush, use it in your first text.
3. Ask an Open Question
Asking an open-ended question is a great conversation starter because he will be flattered that you want to keep a conversation with him and know his opinions about stuff.
It’s an ego-booster, and we all know how important ego is for guys.
Keep it simple – ask about something that happened during the day or week, like “How was your mini-vacation this week? As fun as you expected?”
Don’t ask questions that can be answered with only a “yes:” or no”. Give him room to elaborate.
Don’t ask philosophical questions that he won’t know how to answer or will give up due to being too puzzled.
👉 Here are 100+ fun questions to ask a guy – use them!
* “What’d you think about last night’s episode of…?”
* “How was your friend’s birthday party yesterday?”
* “Noticed you still weren’t back at school today. How are you feeling?”
* “What’s the weirdest text you’ve ever received from a girl?”
👉 Read: How to Flirt with a Guy – Without Being Obvious
4. Make Him Laugh
In my opinion, making a guy laugh is the best way to make him fall for you.
When a guy sees a message from you and smiles (or even better – laughs out loud) – he is halfway in love with you.
Start with a short funny statement about something you both saw or talked about recently.
Don’t get stressed about being funny. Keep it simple.
* “Stop making me think about you. I’m busy.”
(This funny text is especially effective – it is both funny and flirty).
* What would you do if I told you that I have an identical twin sister? (Add a wink emoticon)
* “I’m thinking about becoming celibate for the rest of my life, what do you think?”
* “Do you think you could beat me in an arm wrestle?”
* “Stop thinking about me. I said stop!”
5. Tease Him
Another great way to flirt with him over the phone or text: teasing him.
So, how do you tease a guy over text?
You can (gently) make fun of your crush, we all like a good tease, as long as you make sure he understands you’re not serious.
Keep it light. You can laugh about his fear of germs or him being too tight with his guitar.
Make a silly nickname for him, tease him about his silly acts (for example, if he just told you he fell down the stairs, send him a text like “James Bond in training 😜”
Send a wink face emoji to show that you’re just teasing.
Need something sexier? here’s a good example:
“I feel like something’s missing in my life. Namely you.”
6. Compliment Him Over Text
Every guy likes compliments. Compliment him on his looks, his personality, his athletic abilities, or what he’s worn earlier.
Just don’t overdo it!
Men love to be adored and admired by women, so heap on the praise!
This is one of the best flirting tips I can give you. 😉
* “Had fun last night. Thanks again for feeding and entertaining me.”
* “Thou art to me a delicious torment.”
* “I just want to be upfront and say that I visually enjoy you.”
* “You’re lucky you’re so cute. That’s why I keep you around.”
7. Use Emoticons
Since you don’t have the luxury of body language when you text, emoticons come in handy to help clarify your intentions.
And they’re always better, btw, than another “lol” or “haha”.
8. Leave Him Wanting More
Try to always end the conversation first. Why? So you’ll leave him wanting more.
Instead of dragging the conversation until you can’t think of anything else to write, or worse – he just stops answering – leave it exactly when both of you are highly engaged.
But, while you’re ending your text conversation, let him know that you’re looking forward to your next talk.
* “Past my bedtime…I enjoyed talking to you. Talk tomorrow?”
* “Got to go to girls’ night out. Drunk-text you later?”
Flirty Truth or Dare Questions Over Text
Playing truth or dare through text is one of the BEST ways to flirt with a guy.
Truth questions are also a great way to start a conversation with a guy – a conversation that would likely continue over your next (or first) date.
They can also be used to reveal to your guy that you like him – without telling him directly. Huge bonus.
Here are a few flirty truth or dare questions for texts:
- How many women have you kissed?
- What’s the most embarrassing thing you did while drunk? Describe in detail
- Who is the one person you most regret kissing?
- Have you ever stalked someone on Facebook?
And flirty dares:
- Do 20 pushups and shout my name with each one
- Squeeze lemon juice on your elbow and lick it.
- Stop the next person you see on-road and tell “I Love You” to him or her.
- Sing out loud your favorite love song
- Find some lipstick and put it on
- Shave your chest
👉 Want more? Here are 80+ flirty truth or dare questions over text that you’ll love!
Flirty Texts to Make Him Ask You Out
Flirty texting can easily get you a (date) proposal. The most obvious way is to find the likes that you share and use them to hang out together (on his initiative!)
You can ask him about a new movie or a restaurant. It can turn into making plans to go and see them.
* “At Starbucks studying. Can’t do it anymore. Save me?”
* “Would u rather…get your foot stuck in a bear trap or hang out this weekend?”
* “That new Mexican place has great guacamole. I think you’ll like it as much as I do”.
* “Some friends are going bowling tomorrow night. Don’t come if you’re afraid of losing. To me.”
* Tried the new doughnut shop tonight. You need to check it out!”
* “Hey Kevin..how good are you with your hands?“(Follow up with a message about how you need a shoulder massage)
* “Girls’ night tonight! I’m going to want a testosterone fix tomorrow. You game?”
Avoid These Texting Mistakes
1. Don’t send boring first texts like “What’s up?” and “How are you?”
2. Don’t come on too strong – don’t send a text like “Would you be mad if we made Saturday ‘Naked Day’?”
Try to keep your flirting subtle. If you come on too strong your crush will feel like he “has you” and won’t get to chase you like he likes to (and they all do).
You can always keep it subtle by writing something like “I just got out of the shower. What do you think – skirt or dress?” or “I’m trying my new clothes on” etc.
This way he will automatically imagine you getting out of the shower, but you don’t seem too aggressively flirty.
3. Make sure you’re not always the first one to text. For the same reasons above.
4. Don’t try too hard to be funny or clever. One minute is more than enough to think about something. If you can’t, put it aside and text him later.
5. Spell check. This should be obvious by now. Spelling mistakes are a huge turn-off.
6. Don’t ever ask him if he likes you via text. Huge mistake.
👉 Read: Should you tell a guy you like him first?
Text Flirting with Your Crush – Conclusion
Flirty texts reveal your personality. He can learn so much about you from your texts, which makes the whole thing intimidating and frustrating.
If he answers your texts quickly and with decently long sentences, congratulations. You did great.
If he sends a lot of one-word texts and takes a lot of time to answer – he isn’t hooked just yet (or is texting another girl at the same time).
👉 Used correctly, flirty texts can make him fall in love with you.
Want to turn him off? Send just one inappropriate text. Or a misspelled one. Or text him 9 times before he answers.
(By the way, if you want to get your ex back, flirty texts are the wrong way to go. See my post about how to use texting to get him back)
What do you think about flirty texts? A friend or an enemy? What’s your experience?
Rooting for ya,
There is this guy that I met last year and we became so close I saw him as my best friend but I really wanted more from him… Earlier this year he told me he has feelings for me but he didn’t ask me out we continued being friends and joke about everything, he always tells me he loves me but I do ignore it… These days I noticed that he doesn’t really talk about loving me anymore and there was a time he told me I am good at pushing people away… We are still friends but I don’t want him to stop loving me, what do I do to make him fall for me deeply?
See, don’t ignore him, say you like him too..be nice with him, start giving him attention, get more emotionally attached, guys hate being ignored, make him feel special, say him that you like/love him, it will get back to normal, start giving him more attention, respect him…respect his choices, there are many ways, talk to him regularly, make him feel good and special.
now tbh u had a chance if u liked him back like now if he moved on just because he thought you’ll never like him back and so on like if you have feelings for him just be straight and he might like you back
Anita eddie says
Take a break for sometime and see if the guy misses u if he does he will try to text you
Hi. There’s this guy in my university that I like. I know he likes me too because he’s always staring at me and his friends behave weirdly around me. He added me on social media but he hardly texts me and he replies late. I feel like I’m the only one putting in an effort, I was the one who approached him and talked to him first, I was the one who made it a point to always say hi whenever I see him, I’m also the one who’s also texting. I heard him tell his friend that he’s not really good at texting but still it frustrates me. What should I do next? Please help me.
Lisa Redfield says
Some guys actually feel they are not good at texting. How about trying to talk on the phone? or make a conversation when you meet him? try to accept that he can’t text the way you would want him to. Also, I think that if you stop “trying” so hard, he’ll put more effort in it and find ways to communicate with you. But you’ll have to stop trying for a while – to find out.
I’ve met a man recently and we wanna know each other more. We knew each other online and decided to see face to face. He’s very gentle to me and I love that. Unfortunately, we can’t meet after that because of Covid-19. My country is in restricted movement so yeah. So we always do calls and texts. I wanna keep him to know me more. So it made me nervous every time I wanna call or text him. Thank you for your tips. I appreciate that!
i just met this guy yesterday. he’s really cute and funny and awkward in an adorable way. my friend introduced me to him and winked at me, but i’m not sure if he knows that we were ‘set up’ in a way. i have his number and we’ve texted a bit, but i’m really bad making the conversation go from casual random stuff, to i think you’re cute. any advice?
Hey so I have a little bit of advice for you because i have been in your shoes you need to be as bold as possible but don’t come off as creepy or weird so what you wanna do is it be is very flirty and you know he is intrigued by you… you want to try and start the conversation off with like what are you up to and start there and build onto what he is saying for example if he says hanging out with family you can be like that good that you hang out with your family that important thing in life or something so then u don’t seem lame
Love Shifu says
Wow, that’s a nice collection with examples. Sending flirty text is one of the best way to make for an interesting relationship and also for couples to get closer to each other. Not only flirty texts will make men smile, it will also make them go crazy for their girl .With so many text ideas I don’t see how anyone can not find the right words to text their boyfriend or husband.
Hey came across your post. Not sure what I’m doing on this page. I’m a 33yr old adult female. I recently got out of a 4yr relationship. About a month after my breakup, my crush from middle school messaged me. That was 4months ago. He is currently in the Army and wants to meet up when he comes home. Asked me to move away with him if we get along. Says he’ll take care of me and I won’t have to work. Now, since I know this guy from school, even though that may have been years and years ago, I don’t believe he was making all that up. However, since he is a Sargeant in the Amry he hardly ever texts me. Says things such as good morning I’m so busy I’m sorry but you’re still beautiful. So like … IDK… Cuz we cannot actually carry on a conversation. I feel I may over text him. Photos get a response though, lol. I am not sure where I am going this. How do I keep him interested without coming off too strong? I can’t stop thinking about him and it can be quite annoying. Sometimes I am tempted to message his sister and ask her what her opinion is since no one would know him better. Not sure if that would be too much or not? Probably.
Lisa Redfield says
I think that you may want to meet him first before you decide where you want to go with him. Maybe he has created a nice picture of the future in your mind and now you are attached to that beautiful scenario, without actually knowing how you get along in real life – face to face.
Is there a way to recover if you have already made a few small mistakes? I text about every 2-3 days, but after him initially pursuing me, me has backed off and I’m always the on to start the convo and often only get 1-2 word answers. I think he’s still interested, but we are 14 hours from one another and I’d like to keep his interest until we can see one another.
Hi, I need some help
So there is this guy that I like. I met him at a job we both used to work at. We met about a year ago and I started developing feelings for him pretty quickly. Fast forward to August, he actually got fired from the place we worked. During the time he was there, however, we didn’t talk much, partly because we were in different places but also because I’m extremely shy and couldn’t find the courage to talk to him. After he left I friended him on Facebook and we have been talking through messenger. I just worked up the courage to ask him out, but he turned me down, saying that he was talking to another girl and it was getting a little bit serious.
So my question is what should i Do? I really like him and am devastated. I knew it was possible i was running out of time and could actually be too late and now it seems my fears were correct. I must admit that I actually have confessed my feelings for him in an embarrassingly long message telling him why I like him.
I really don’t want to give up, but I don’t know how to win him over. He only lives about a half-hour away but it’s in the opposite direction that I go for school and work so I have no reason to go to his town or to bump into him. I also don’t want to be that person who intentionally breaks them up either.
How do I win him over of all I have to communicate is a messenger? Since he knows I like him, how do i get him to want to hang out with me in person as just friends? Is trying to be friends and possibly waiting out the relationship my best bet?
And sorry for the long explanation
Lisa Redfield says
Yes, I think that’s your best bet – to stay friends with him. But I wouldn’t try to win him over or interfere with this other girl because that’s a bad way to start a relationship.
OMG that happened to me. I texted my crush 15 times. ( I know that’s a lot, I’m terrible lol) and then he got mad at me and said “you blew up my phone 15 times just to say I don’t know?” and that was pretty much the end of it when he blocked me. sorry for being crazy
okay so i need help!
i really like this guy and i met him on video chat with his cousin. my friend and i were on video chat with them and we were pretending that the cousin, (the one i like, we’ll call him “joe”), was the hottest guy ever and we were saying things like “omg joe you’re so much hotter than your cousin” but we were kidding and now i fell for him. i have his phone number but i am always the first to text and he says he’s not ready for a relationship but i really like him. WHAT DO I DO!? please answer!
Lisa Redfield says
Please believe him that he is not ready for a relationship at this point. When people say it, they mean it. Either accept it and continue this without relationship expectations, or move on. This will prevent a heart break for you.
Hi! I met a guy on vacation one afternoon and we hung out all that night (he flew home the next morning). We really connected though as friends and we have so much in common and we text now. I live in Dallas and he’s in LA though so we don’t have any physical relationship and he’s a few years older than me and doesn’t know how he feels yet about dating a younger girl. When we met I was 17 and he was 21. But I’m 18 now, and I wonder that now that the legality issue has gone away if he’d be interested in me. But I’d have to ask him about it over text or FaceTime since we haven’t met up since vacation. How could I do that without risking our friendship too bad? Thanks:)
there is a really cute guy flirting with me, but apparently he flirts with everyone. i only see him once a week and since i am religious and home-schooled, my parents don’t allow me to date. I also don’t know how to flirt, but I want to flirt back with him. We are going for a 4 day trip in a couple weeks with a group of other kids our age (15), and I want to show him that I am interested in him then. How should I do it?
i’ve been dating a guy i met right before christmas (now ~4 months ago). for the first 6-8 weeks, we talked alot over text. we’d spent literally every weekend together. and then for valentine’s day, i made him a DIY cute, cheesy gift (a jar of “hershey” kisses, bag of nuts to show him i’m nuts about him and a sexy camisole — something for the both of us)
since we met, he had been mentioning that he was unhappy at work, wanted a new job and was not having much luck in. but after valentines day, i did notice that he was distant. i was the one initiating more conversations. i texted him one day that “i dont think you’re as interested in me as you used to be. i’ll respect how you feel but let me know”.
he responded saying he was sorry that he made me feel this way but that he was preoccupied with finding a new job but at the same time, things started progressing faster than he was expecting.
so i left him alone and he reached out 2 weeks later. we texted a bit and then i just asked him out for drinks one night. we met, we both were still into each other and before we slept together that night, i had a talk with him that i want to date him and not just do dinner/drinks/sex. he agreed and said valentines threw him off but he was interested in dating me as well.
that was 2 weeks ago. he hasn’t set up a follow up date but he’ll text me every 5-7 days to see how things are going.
i like him but it’s hard for me to always be the one to ask him out. i don’t feel wanted during the time that we spend apart. i dont know how to turn this around to the flirty guy he was with me when we first met.
So I’ve been talking to this guy for over a month and we recently started sleeping together here and there. When we hang out he’s always attached to his phone and watching videos unless we’re getting in on or getting wasted. I asked him when we started talking if he was looking for a friends with benefits type relationship or a serious one and he told me he wanted to date me and that he really liked me. I just don’t think that’s the case. He is a TERRIBLE texter. He does a lot of the one worded answers and its very rare that we have actual conversations. What do i do?
Lisa Redfield says
I would advise you to decide whether you like this guy – just the way he is – or not. We can’t change anyone. Being a terrible texster does not mean he doesn’t really like you, it’s just the way he is.
Hi, I have this crush and he asked me out a the beginning of the school year (at that time I did not have a crush on him), I said no because I barley even knew him. But now I have a crush on him, I dont know if he likes me or not. We text quite often and reading this we do a lot often things this article calls “flirting” but I’m not sure. Does anyone have advice? PLS I NEED HELP!!
Lisa Redfield says
I think it’s safe to say he likes you…he already asked you out didn’t he? You don’t need any advice, just keep what you’re doing and he’ll ask you out again. You can ask him out as well.
Classically Trained says
Just flirt some more with the guy-maybe ask his friends.
Be yourself. If he likes you still-then CONGRATS!
Hi, I have been talking to this guy for a few weeks now. We’ve hung out together, he’s come to my church, we’ve texted back and forth pretty much every day, but since coming to my church he’s been giving one word replies to my messages. He’s a Gemini June 13th and I’m a Cancer July 3rd however I was supposed to be a Scorpio October 23, and I think I carry traits from both signs. Could I be coming off too strong?
Hello. I want to ask for advice (sorry, english is not my native so if i did a mistake please forgive me)
I hve a friend, we’ve been friends for almost a year and a half and i recently noticed that i have feelings for him, but he already got a girlfriend. What should i do?
I dont want to break him up with his gf obviously but i dont want to lie to myself, i do want him to end up with me because its so hard for me to find a guy who makes me comfortable enough to fall in love with freely.
Like, i’m really confused right now and this really make me feel like i’m a bad girl that tries to steal someones man…
Lisa Redfield says
I understand how you feel, but if I were you I wouldn’t try to “steal” him away from his GF. It probably won’t work anyway, and if it does – the guilt you’ll feel will “haunt” you in the future and will ruin your relationship with him.
I know it’s hard, but I would try to keep a bit of distance from him at least until you manage to be around him craving to be with him.
If you were meant to be – it’ll happen. And it will happen in the right way.
That’s just my personal opinion, I hope it helps.
When I read these I almost cried because my bf and I aren’t in the strongest relationship that we could be in, so I wanted to look at the simpler things like a crush. I almost cried because reading these things… I don’t know if he really likes me at all. He almost never says more than two words in a text, and he’s very predictable. I can predict almost everything he’ll text me — throughout the whole day. ;( If anyone has any advice of how to patch up our relationship, I’d really appreciate that.
Lisa M Jackson says
I hope my reply isnt too late. Become less available. Find some hobbies. New friends. As if you are bored(cause he is) and need some excitement. Go out. Do stuff. Dont envite him. Just let him know you have plans. Dont text and call him all day every day. Say hi, you have plans and youll talk to him later. Then literally dont talk to him until youre about to go to bed Just say hey hope you had a good day. Im going to bed talk to you tomorrow. Make this a routine. Make him miss you. Maybe send a pic of how much fun youre having with out him. Dont need to be out of character. Just what ever you do to have fun. If you dont yet then well maybe you need a new you. No offense. Find your fun. Get dressed up. ..
May depend on age and astrology sign too. If youre comfortable with giving that info.
Hi, I hope im not late myself but there is this guy who i’ve been texting for a while now. I really like him and he knows I like him too. He always tells me about his possible relationships. He also has told me that him and his girlfriend got into a “you’re cuter” arguement and asked who i thought was.. im 99% sure I’m in the friendzone pretty bad, but i like him a lot. Any way i can get out of the friendzone but not in a too aggressive way, such as the very open out flirting?
Lisa Redfield says
If he has a girlfriend I would not try to do that, but it’s up to you. Here’s my post about how to get out of the friend zone: https://howtogetaguytowantyou.com/escaping-the-friend-zone/
Hi it’s Denis here and I’ve being wondering,Lisa, if this boy actually really gives a fuck about me. So we’ve being texting everyday but he has being distant after I told him I slept with three different people within a month. Even tho this was before he’s still being a devil if you get what I mean. What should I do I’m thinking about breaking up with him, it’s being two days should I give him time. Ty Lisa I’d love a reply p.s he won’t fucking shut up about boxing
Lisa Redfield says
I think he is just jealous. I would give it some time.
I really hope this works…
david comfort says
u are great