“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.”
– Oscar Wilde
Does it feel like your boyfriend is the “star” in your relationship? That he’s convinced that the world was created especially for him?
Does he only sees what’s important for HIM? What HE needs in his life? Are your needs and feelings go completely ignored?
When you give your ALL into a relationship, it can break your heart to discover you get nothing back (or at least some appreciation) from your selfish boyfriend.
Your brain says “my boyfriend is selfish“, but your heart says “my boyfriend doesn’t love me”.
What can you do?
How to Know if My Boyfriend is Selfish
Some of the signs that your boyfriend is selfish are:
1. He lacks consideration for you and others. He is concerned mainly with his personal profit or pleasure.
2. He refuses to grow up and take responsibility for the life that you share. He hardly helps around the house, he doesn’t notice when you are tired and need help and support.
3. He prefers to spend time with his friends but frowns when you want to spend time with yours friends.
4. He is only able to see things from his point of view, only relates to things that affect him and fails to understand how actions in life are interconnected.
5. He demands things with a sense of entitlement. He truly believes that he DESERVES everything.
6. He is tight with his money, even if you buy a lot of stuff for him.
7. He hogs the limelight in social situations
8. Your point of view doesn’t matter. It feels like he just doesn’t SEE you. This actually is a huge sign of an emotionally unavailable guy.
Can You Change a Selfish Boyfriend?
Relationships are about give and take, but your boyfriend is all about taking without giving. Is there anything you can do or will this become a deal breaker soon?
Assuming that you can change a selfish guy it a mistake. But, it doesn’t mean that nothing can be done to change things and it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about you and love you.
Actually, many studies have shown that men are biologically wired to be providers, which is quite the opposite than selfish, right?
So why does YOUR man behave the way he does? Can it be changed?
Change starts when we recognize the simple biological differences between men and women.
A man has a need to take care of the family and be the breadwinner. It is a subconscious need — most men are not even aware that they have this drive.
Randy E. Bennet, a licensed therapist, has identified five basic needs all men have.
Meeting these needs gives you a great deal of influence with your man — he’ll be willing to do almost ANYTHING you ask, at the drop of a hat, because you have suddenly become the source of most of the good feelings he has about his life.
Sounds complicated? Not really.
And what do YOU get out of the deal? The man you want — the man who adores you, shows true affection towards you, and puts you ahead of everything else in his life.
Rooting for ya,