“First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage”, right? Or at least this is what you’ve been taught since you were a little girl.
In your mind you know something is not right. He is fully committed to you, he says he loves you and wants to be with you only. So why can’t he take your relationship to the next obvious level?
He doesn’t want to get married. Yet.
And at some point you can’t seem to think about anything else.
He Doesn’t Want to Get Married. WHY?
Does he actually love me like he says he does?
Is he waiting for a better option?
Am I giving my heart to someone who will eventually break it?
Am I doing something wrong?
Am I not GOOD enough?
Before You Know It, These Questions Start Destroying Your Relationship
I know, because I’ve been there, and it almost killed my relationship with the love of my life.
I was so in love. I knew this was the only man I’d ever want to be with and I was sure he felt the same way about me.
But when the marriage proposal didn’t come, I couldn’t help myself and asked him what’s going on. He told me he wasn’t ready for marriage yet.
He had many excuses – His career, not knowing what he wants to do with his life, fear of getting hurt and what not.
He asked me to wait. To stay with him because he loves me so much and “everything will be o.k.”.
I agreed and swore to myself to put it aside for a while.
But I couldn’t. The more I tried to stop thinking about it, the more I became completely obsessed with him not wanting to get married.
I analyzed our relationship to death, trying to figure out what could be missing for him. I analyzed myself to death, trying to figure out what’s missing in ME. It broke my heart and it broke my spirit.
I was convinced I’m just not good enough – For him or for anyone else.
It nearly broke us apart.
You’ll Be Surprised: This is What Makes Men Think They’re Not Ready for Marriage
#1 – Plain Old Fear
Men are conditioned (especially by the media) to believe that marriage means forever giving up on their freedom and committing to a monogamous life of hell on earth.
Believe it or not, men are constantly in fear over losing their freedom and not being able to be what they perceive as “real men”. They are terrified of being “whipped”.
You don’t have to see many movies or popular sitcoms to get why men are hardwired to see marriage as something to mourn over something to celebrate.
If you can get your man to understand that marrying you doesn’t mean he has to change himself for you or letting go of the thing he loves – He will come around and be ecstatic about creating a life with you.
#2 – He Questions Your Loyalty
He won’t necessarily admit it, but your man needs your complete loyalty. I’m not only referring to sexual loyalty. He needs your back. For example, “defending” him from his future in-laws.
Another example is discretion. He needs to know you will never reveal his vulnerabilities in public, or tell his secrets to anyone else – Even your best girlfriend.
Even a slight mistake in this department can delay his marriage proposal in months, if not forever.
My friend T.W Jackson refers to this as “changing his heart light from green to yellow”. He is struggling inside to figure out his next step with you and if the trust can be rebuilt.
On a conscious level, he may not even realize that this is exactly why he is resisting the possibility of marriage.
It turned out that this was the case with my man. I revealed something embarrassing about him to my mother. He was outraged, but seemed to forget all about it pretty fast.
But he didn’t. He didn’t even realize it yet, but he was questioning my loyalty for him.
And we did.
A few months later he wrote a best selling e-book about it, which I whole heartedly recommend, especially if you want to get married but your man doesn’t.
I’m not saying you should buy it. Don’t. Just watch his free presentation. You’ll finally find out the real reason why your guy doesn’t want to marry you (and what to do about it!)
Rooting for ya,
What do you think? Can you get your guy to want to marry you?