Do you feel like you’ll burst into flames if you don’t tell him you like him – right now?
Do you spend hours analyzing the pros and cons of telling your crush that you like him?
Well, maybe you should.
You should think long and hard before you take this irreversible step.
Because telling a guy you like him can go great (if he likes you too) or go extremely wrong (if he doesn’t feel the same).
(👉 Read: Is he serious about me – or just playing? (12 signs to check)
In this post I’ll explain:
1. Why it’s a very bad idea to tell a guy you like him first (unless you possess a certain “quality” I’ll mention below)
2. Why it’s a bad idea to tell a guy you like him over text
3. Why it’s a bad idea to tell your best guy friend that you like him
4. The many simple ways to tell a guy you like him – without actually saying it (and facing rejection).
Before you make up your mind, can I offer you my advice?
Overview
Should you Tell a Guy You Like Him (FIRST)?
(Spoiler alert)
NO.
Don’t ever tell a guy you like him first.
(Unless you are absolutely sure that he likes you too and no one else!)
Why?
For 2 main reasons:
1. The Irreversible Damage of Rejection
If he likes you back – great. He’ll reciprocate and you’ll live happily ever after.
But:
If you are not completely sure that your crush likes you too, and has about the same feelings for you as you do for him, you are facing an embarrassing and irreversible REJECTION.
I believe that all those who will tell you that rejection is no big deal, and you just bitch about it with your gal pals and get over it in an hour – has never been face-to-face rejected in his life.
“I like you as a friend, but I’m not ready for a relationship”
“I think you’re great, but I don’t do dating right now”
These are only 2 of the possible let-you-down sayings you may hear from him, while your heart sinks to the floor and you don’t know where to bury yourself.
This blow to your ego can be overcome, guaranteed.
BUT:
This situation is almost irreversible. You will lose hope about ever being with him and for NO good reason.
Sure, he may not want to date you now, or hasn’t developed the same feelings for you, but if you gave it more time, he COULD have.
But after being rejected, you won’t sit around, looking at him with puppy eyes and wait for him to change his mind. Right?
(I hope you nodding your head with me).
If you didn’t “force” him, in a way, to decide right now how he feels about you (that’s what happens when you tell your crush you like him) – he would have had more time to get to know you and fall head over heels for you.
2. The Chase Element
I know it’s annoying, and completely odd that in the 21st-century guys still need the chase to develop romantic feelings.
But it’s still true.
Guys need the chase. Most of them anyway.
And when they don’t get a chance to chase, they can lose interest quite fast.
It doesn’t mean that you have to play games and change who you are. But at least don’t make it completely effortless for them, by telling them you like them.
For Every Rule, There is an Exception
If you an exceptionally confident girl/woman, who knows her worth, does not live through her ego and can handle rejection easily – Go ahead, confess away.
If you can imagine every scenario once you tell him that you like him, and feel good about whatever happens, go on and tell him that you like him. Get it off your chest and hope for the best.
Should You Tell a Guy You Like Him – Over Text?
Again, if he likes you back, he’ll see your text, find a cute way to text you that he likes you back and you’ll start talking about your future kids.
But if he doesn’t, rejection over text can be more humiliating than a face-to-face one.
Texting is a whole different world.
It seems so much easier to tell a guy you like him over text.
You feel you can safely hide behind your phone and think that if you don’t have to look at him, you can handle any response from him – good or bad.
But again – nope.
Texting a guy you like him (and I mean writing these exact words, not just flirting!) is exactly the same as telling him to his face. Or worse.
Why?
1. Because even though you can’t see him when he opens your text, at some point you WILL see him.
And if you were rejected, all the embarrassment and awkwardness will happen, just as if you told him face to face.
2. It’s even more hurtful to be rejected over text than face to face. He has so many options:
- To completely ignore your text
- To reject you through a joke or in a disrespectful way
- To question your honesty or think that you’re joking (“why does tell me over text”? He’ll ask himself)
Either way, you’ll suffer from all the above-mentioned side effects of rejection, making it impossible to even look him in the eyes next time you see him.
Just like being dumped through a text is much worse than being dumped face to face, being rejected over text is worse than in person.
(👉 Read: How to Flirt with a Guy Over Text (+ 37 Examples)
How to Tell a Guy You Like Him – Without Scaring Him Off
Fortunately, there are dozens of crazy simple ways to show your crush that you like him, without actually saying it and facing rejection.
You can tell a guy you like him – through flirting.
Flirting is the universal way of showing romantic (or just physical) attraction.
Believe it or not, just a great smile and eye contact – done repeatedly every time you see him – can be enough to get his attention and realize that you like him.
You can easily do it without being obvious, and give him the little “nudge” that he needs to come and tell you that he likes you – FIRST.
Or even just eagerly ask you out.
Wouldn’t that be terrific?
12 Quotes to Let Him Know You Like Him
If you’ve decided to let him know how you feel about him, but can’t seem to find the right words, you can simply use the following known quotes:
“Sometimes I just can’t ignore the way I feel when I see you smile”
“You have this incredible way of making my heart happy”
“You’re my favorite place to go when my mind searches for peace”
“Because of you, I laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile a lot more.”
“I saw that you were perfect and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more.”
“If I could have anyone in the world, it would be you.”
“Some people search their whole lives to find what I found in you.”
“I like you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.”
“A sea of whiskey couldn’t intoxicate me as much as a drop of you.”
“Your eyes make me shy.”
“You don’t have to be a genius to figure what’s between us.”
“The spaces between your fingers are meant to be filled with mine.”
Should You Tell Your Best Guy Friend you Love Him?
You are head over hills in love with your best guy friend. You won’t be the first, that’s for sure.
But either you don’t know if he feels the same, or you’ve been friend-zoned for a while now.
Should you take the chance and tell this guy that you love him?
If you are scientifically sure that he feels the same, and hasn’t said it because he is afraid to ruin your friendship – go ahead and tell him how you feel.
It’s the right and smart thing to do.
But if you’re not sure he feels the same, and you are in the friend zone, don’t tell him you like him. Yet.
👉 Here’s how to get out of the friend zone and become his girlfriend.
It’s easier than you think.
And:
If you’re friends with benefits – here’s how to make your friend with benefits fall for you!
Conclusion
No matter how many self-improvement blogs we’ll read, most of us have a hard time handling and overcoming rejection.
Unless we are extremely confident with loads of self-esteem – repeated rejection can scar us for life – making us afraid of the future and our capability to have a stable relationship.
But rejection can be easily avoided.
You don’t have to tell a guy you like him. You can show him. You can make HIM take the first step, thinking that it was all his idea in the first place.
Without rejection.
Without losing hope about your dream relationship.
All you need is just a little patience, and the right “tools”, which I hope I’ve given you here.
What do you think? Am I wrong or am I right?
Should you tell a guy you like him first? Can you really handle rejection?
Did you ever tell a guy you liked him first and it turned out great? I’d love to hear your stories, share them with me in the comments below.
Rooting for ya,
Lisa
Ben says
This is a smh moment. The way you worded the whole rejection section makes you look like someone who’s scarred or petrified of it.. that’s not good. the ideal is to understand that a guy rejecting you is one guy rejecting you and it’s as simple as that. You’re not less of a woman in any way and you found out he’s not for you so you can start to move on. Rejection is not something you go out of your way to avoid that will lead to a less fulfilled life. You hope to avoid it but ultimately getting rejected and going past it makes you a more complete person
Zahra Wood says
So my friends spilled to my crush that i liked him but then denied it later. He has been told that i like him several times (not directly by me) but those statement have been denied also. I don’t know if he likes me or not, but he does hangout with another girl. The other girl may have a boyfriend but im not sure of that either. half of my friends think it would be a great idea to confess but the other half think its best if i wait till the end of the year and tell him then. Sometimes my crush does act like a jerk and is popular, so i dont know how he would take it. what should i do???
H says
Your best bet is to first of all; be yourself.
Take everyone’s advice with a pinch of salt. Because this is your life, plus, someone should like you, for you.
Don’t be anyone else!
Do what your heart tells you– but try not to be too hasty.
Think carefully about your situation & be open to whatever might happen following your decision.
Personally – I don’t see the point in waiting until the end of the Year. I don’t understand what that would be achieving??
It is just time.
Regarding myself; I faced-up & told this guy I had a crush on him. And I still think it was the best thing I ever did!
I understood I could very well be rejected.
But I would rather be rejected than to keep my feelings a secret for no reason… especially if it meant that he would never know any different.
In that case — I would have to deal with suppressed emotions (for who knows how long). While he lives his merry life, none the wiser.
Secondly, honesty can be extremely attractive. Shocking at first – but ultimately & generally a good choice!
I will say, I was rejected….. at first!
It was tough to take, but such a relief to be honest with him.
However, shortly after that though, he began to look at me differently.
We are both still developing our Friendship currently, but he is grateful to be aware of his options now.
I don’t pressure him. I merely confessed that I like him.
The option is there, and it is his choice about what he does with that.
All in all; you can wait, & attempt to develop things naturally. You can flirt & grow your Relationship slowly & subtly. There’s nothing wrong with that!
But……. I worry that the more time you take, the harder the outcome may be for you.
In my case, I just tried to make it easier for myself in the long run.
And it’s working for me so far!
But this is not my choice, nor is it anyone else’s!
It is up to you
Just be careful, & be happy!
It will 110% work out in the end, thats a promise!
Anonymous says
I really really hope a young girl doesnt read this and take it to heart because it is honestly horrible advice. Are the straights ok??
Lillian S says
I found this article very interesting and hopefully it will save me from getting embarrassed in the near future. I’m currently into a guy I’ve known for about three years and who was taken most of this time. We’ve always been acquainted but over the pandemic, a few months after his ex broke up with him, he asked me to go see a movie at his friend’s (the three of us had been quarantined for months, so it was safe!). In 2020 we got closer than we’d ever been and for some time last year, I thought he was interested in me. However, when I started hinting I was into him, he held back. I’m honestly clueless about what happened and wanted to open up to him, but after reading this article I realized it’s best to keep flirting with him and see if he develops real feelings for me.
On the other hand, I’ve been the girl who boldly confesses her feelings to a guy. I was a sophomore in college and there was a guy who’d become friends with one of my friends. The three of us hung out together all the time and I fell head over heels for him. Then one day I told him how I felt and even though his response was negative, he was very mature and things weren’t awkward between us at all (hence we’re still great friends to this day).
So here’s friendly advice, coming from personal experience: don’t be afraid of rejection, but also don’t go confessing how you feel to any guy you have a crush on 😉
Hannah says
I really doubt it’s all that complicated.
This article seems a tad negative… Just probably not very reassuring to some readers (since you’d have to be anxious enough to search for this kinda thing in the first place)
Honestly, this^ only adds more anxiety — it’s all well & good to be “that” mysterious Woman, who entices & seduces a Man slowly, all sexy-like.
But really, life is Short. Life is also simple, yet, we complicate it unnecessarily.
Just straight up tell Him how you feel, I say.
If He is any kind of genuine Human Person; He’ll totally be into it too, or at least kindly give you a chance & consider spending more time with you to see if anything develops in the Future.
If he straight-up rejects you or is quite weird & silly about your confession, acting cold afterward – he’s a little immature……. and you probably don’t want someone like that in your life anyway.
Us girls are not weak little Butterflies, who’re wrapped up in cotton wool too. We’re strong, and anything that is good in life will surely not come easily.
So we should learn how to deal with rejection, & obviously, get (positive) support from others if the rejection was to happen.
Because bad things are always bound to happen, & if we deal with it badly – that’s when we ruin ourselves.
…Besides, you cannot fake a Personality forever…. whether you get the guy or not; he will eventually see the real you.
So it’s better to just BE ‘You’ from the very beginning…
Because ‘You’ are desirable, & lovable, and all things beautiful. Especially to the right person!
Anyway, TEDtalk over! -Just do it! Think positive, you can’t go wrong.
C says
HEYY girls and gays!! My guilty pleasure is reading posts like this and the comments section, and this one is juicy. I agree with some of the points made here (and I love the rabbit hole of linked articles I followed after reading this), but as one of the rabbit hole posts says, bro all hetero men (if you’re a het woman) have definitely thought about you in *that way* in the same way you’ve thought about him! My intuition and confessions from my guy friends make me believe this to be true. Every guy who I’ve WANTED to go out with I made happen myself by confessing my feelings, and it’s been great because I know they wouldn’t’ve happened if I didn’t. On the flip side, I’ve seen my good girlfriends avoid confessing their feelings and miss the opportunity to date the boy they like! If your intuition tells you he likes you, you should tell him how you feel (boys are sO oblivious and if you’re in high school especially they will likely not say anything for fear of rejection).
Of course, each situation warrants its own maneuvers, but generally, I think that if you’re friends you can be gently frank (“Hey, I’m not sure if you feel the same way, but I think I like you more than a friend”, “Would it be weird if we went on a date?”), and if you’re more acquaintances you can ask to hang out or straight-up ask to go on a date (one of my friends asked me out on a date and it was the best! it’s not as weird as it sounds). Either way, if you tell him how you feel, be sure to be confident in yourself and to ask in a private way (in person) where you’re comfortable and he’s comfortable. 🙂
NOW MY STORYTIME: I have been great friends with this one guy for years and I’ve spent a lot of time with him over quarantine, and I’ve developed a major crush on him, partially because of proximity but also because he’s great. We’re both going back to separate universities in a couple of weeks, so I’m building my courage to make a move! I just don’t want to regret not saying anything, and I know our friendship is strong enough where if I’m rejected it won’t make things too weird. Hopefully. But I also receive positive signs of mutual feelings often, and what is life if not to take chances? If all goes well (and I remember) I will update you all on how it goes – if nothing else, then to encourage other girls to be frank and confident about their feelings!
Much love,
C
C says
HAHAH IT’S ME AGAIN I honestly can’t believe my comment was posted and I’m replying!!! Hahaha. Anyways, I waited until the very last moment of summer (almost backed out) but finally told him how I felt. And guess what? He felt the same way! Now, I really had a feeling he did, but I knew that he is too practical to risk the friendship by saying something, so I told him. He seemed very flattered and grateful that I said something, which I think would be the case for many of you readers!! I am very glad I said something because it felt right in the moment and it’s satisfying to know my feelings are out there. It’s also, of course, exciting to know he feels the same way, and although we won’t see each other for 4 months, it’s nice to know we’re both thinking of each other as we’re far away (If he’s reading this, though **I’m sure he wouldn’t be**, I would be mortified forever).
MY biggest piece of advice from this experience was to wait for the moment where it feels right and natural to say something (but don’t overthink – trust your gut!). I almost told him on many different occasions, but it felt forced, so I didn’t. When I did tell him, though, it felt right, and although my heart was pounding, it was from excitement and my feelings instead of anxiety and dread. If anyone reading has any questions feel free to reply and I’ll try to respond lol! But again, I 100% support you telling your friend you like him/her as long as it feels right (you’ll know and feel it).
xo – C
Nash says
OMG am so glad it worked for uu!! The issue is I don’t know for sure if I like him. We’ve been friends for many yrs even went to the same uni but I can’t get the courage to ask him if theirs anything more between us. Would u suggest I wait until am completely sure of how I feel before texting him or do I Wait for him to make a move? We give each other birthday gifts so we are really close.
Tatyana says
I have a crush and I think that he likes me, but he always talks to this girl and she is NOT cute. She is so overweight like she probably weighs like 170 pounds or something, but the thing is, when I walk with him or something, his friends always laugh at me after he goes away and he doesn’t know that. I’m trying to ask him out, but I don’t have enough courage to do that, and I’m not sure that he likes me back. Hope you guys are not going through that too.
Kayla says
I- just caus he likes talking to another girl doesn’t mean you should comment on her weight like that it’s not very nice and 170 pounds isn’t even really overweight depending on how tall she is. Us girls are meant to stick together and I get u are probs frustrated he enjoys talking to this girl buuuut that doesn’t mean you need to say mean things about the girl. Also, you should tell the guy that his friends are making you uncomfortable and are making fun of you, if this guy is as close of a friend with you as u insinuated he should deal with it. And go for it tell him! Unless you are not prepared for all the possible outcomes of
Tess says
I am not sure anyone will ever see this now, but I am glad I read this article first before ever just telling this guy at work that I like him! He is older than me which is a good thing I know but only by a few years. He is not my manager or anything either that would make that a bad idea. I know I would have to take things slowly since we work together, but not right next to each other. I tried to bluntly ask him though if there were a girl that likes him would he be into it if he liked her. The reason I asked him is that he said online dating doesn’t work for him, so he won’t ever do that again. But, he probably didn’t realize that I was the one asking because I like him lol. Most guys are clueless. I told him we could be friends though, and he seemed okay with that. I know I need to give it more time since I haven’t gotten to know him enough. A part of me thinks he may like me by the way he acts. But, I would be too scared to do anything too soon, especially since I have been rejected before by a guy at work! I have had guys like me at some jobs though as well even though the age difference always seemed to get in the way. Do you think that was a good idea to be blunt about it unless he may like me?
Lisa Redfield says
I think you may want to wait until you are mostly sure that he is somewhat into you, unless you can handle a rejection.
Aya says
I told a guy I like him and he said sorry I don’t feel the same way. And then he said he doesn’t want to talk about it.
Angelina says
I wish I could’ve read your post first before I confessed to him. And yes I knew I was gonna face rejection and I still told him. I hope he realized that.
So we stay at the same dorm and this is our last semester together. Due to the fact that time is running out, I hurried things and said all kinds of stuff to him over text that suggested I like him(I made it very obvious because I don’t think he ever sees me as more than a fellow resident).
I think I should’ve started the whole process earlier, then what you said in your post will help me greatly. However, I don’t regret telling him I like him (and scaring the hell outta him) cuz I was more curious to see his reaction(rejection!) than going into a relationship w him.
Sorry for the rant.
Angel says
Hey…so I have this crush and I don’t know if he likes me back. We always hang out and one time he was helping me out with my homework also for some weird reason he asks me to help with his math homework when he knows that I’m not in his math class (he is in advanced math). Also, we play footsies (a weird game) but also today I told him that my dad was just diagnosed with cancer and he comforted me but we were not cuddling. I want to tell him but there’s this girl…he hangs out with her too and I know she likes him (someone told me). I told my guy friend that I liked his friend and he said he doesn’t know who my crush likes (his friend). Idk what to do! I told my crush last year that I liked him and he didn’t feel the same way but IDK about this year. I am also inviting my crush to my birthday party so hopefully, that goes well. Please tell me what to do!?
Lisa Redfield says
I think that if you’re not sure just some more time. Give it another week and see.
Khaty says
I told my ultimate crush that I like him and we both have the same feelings and after for so many times, we’ve been dating and slept together.. And I texted him when I leave from our place that I am falling from him.. He asks me why I fall from him ? and I’m telling him that I feel so comfortable and secured.. He replied that’s nice I like you also.. So what does that mean? Does he have the same feeling or he just can’t say or reject me?
Alexjam says
Hi There
Awesome… just what i needed to hear… encouraging words.
Thanks for letting me vent! I will keep rereading this post.
Soheil says
I liked a guy for 4 years and after four years I decided to confess my feelings by texting.I texted but he didn’t say anything and I texted him”I hope it remains between us only” after some hours he texted me that “I won’t tell anyone about it . I’m not a child anymore “. I didn’t reply him but I feel really bad and worthless I think it was the worst reaction of a guy.
Ali says
It’s okay hun, he doesn’t deserve you 😉
Hanaah says
You know those types of boys don’t deserve the love you gave to them,don’t just close your phone and cry,you need to be confident and stand for yourself
Anna says
Not even halfway into the article yet and I don’t think I want to read anymore. Don’t you think guys go through the same thoughts? Why not give them a break for once? It’s ridiculous to always rely on the guy to admit his feelings.
Lola says
Thank you Anna. I think I’m actually gonna tell him over text after reading your reply. I mean I’m never gonna see him again so what do I have to lose! I just need to get this off my chest
Dee says
There is this guy …who is my ex-friend that I like and we started chatting then he asks me one day do u know that I actually like u but the thing is that he is a player …but i have this feeling in my gut that he actually like me …I told him I like him too but he later went to tell His buddy about our chat and all ,, and his buddy happens to be my best friend…I don’t know if I should tell him I like him and forget about it ..or just forget about it totally… What should I do?
Lisa Redfield says
I believe you already told him…now just be happy with the choice you made and that you were honest with your feelings. All is well.
Malika says
Hey I’m high school student and I like a guy who is my classmate. I like him too much and he always gazing me. one day he asked me ‘do yo like me? Do you have feelings to me?’. When I heard this I felt embarrased and shocked. I said ‘no. I dont have any feelings to you’. Then I go out of class and when I came back he was in the corner with red face and he was so angry. For 2 days he didnt say nothing to me just staring into my eyes. What should I do? I want to tell him that I like him.
Lisa Redfield says
I think that he was telling you he likes you through asking you if you like him…I think that in this case you can tell him that you like him. Go ahead, follow your heart. Good luck!
Yaanisa says
Well I like a guy I don’t really know. He works at a convenience store near me and he was my cashier once. He asked me questions about were I’m from and all that but that was the only time we ever spoke. Everytime I come we sometimes look at each other but that’s it. Now sometimes he doesn’t look at me idk what happened maybe lol he got a gf. Idk but I actually like him. What should I do?
Naomi says
So this guy I’ve been talking to told me that he loved me a few weeks ago. Today, I finally admitted the same. Did I make the right decision?
Lisa Redfield says
Yes of course, why not? 🙂
Christi says
This post sounds like it was written by a child or someone who is very very immature. Sorry, but here’s the reality, just as nervous as a girl is to tell a guy they like them is just how nervous a guy is to tell a girl. Do you have any idea how many relationships could of happened if the girl spoke up because the guy though she wasnt interested or out of his league? If he never asks then you’ll always be wondering what if. At least if you confess you can either get rejected have it hurt for a little and move on or he returns the feelings or you spend the rest of your days wondering what could of happened if you had told him. Dont take the advice of this article, it’s extremely childish.
GEO says
I agree with you. There is this guy that I like and I think that he likes me as well. There were way too many signs. He is really nice and is really considerate of me. I think that he doesn’t have much experience with girls and that he is shy with women. I want to confess to him because I don’t think that I’ll ever come across a guy like him in the near future. I am trying to gather up my courage to do so and this article isn’t helping at all.
E says
No, I’m sorry, but no. I have read this post over and over again, and I still think it’s a good idea to tell him first. There’s this guy I really like, and I’m going to tell him the next time I see him. Just don’t come on too strong. Say something like “Hey, I like you, and I hope that this doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable. I completely understand if you don’t like me, but I just need to get this off my chest.” That’s what I’m going to do. If he feels the same, great, good for you. Go live happily ever after. But if he doesn’t, that’s okay too. You’re a strong person who can handle anything. Just don’t let him ruin your life.
Angelina says
Dear E
I completely feel you! However I think Lisa’s post makes sense theoretically, but once it comes to real-life there exist many cases and scenarios. I recently told this guy that I like him and got rejected so fast, I was very prepared to get rejected but I don’t think I could’ve put off my confession and flirt with him first, or anything to ‘get him to notice me. There wasn’t enough time, and the feeling of telling him wins the hope of being together with him.
As absurd as this sounds, this all went through my head exactly a week ago when I started my grand plan to hint strongly to him that I like him–> to get him to realize that I like him—> confess—> face rejection. It was as if everything is all according to my plan.
It was an interesting experience, I haven’t felt any side effects from the incident yet.
Love, Angelina
andrea says
hey, i’m a high school student and i have a really big crush on my best guy friend. what should i do about this? i’ve already taken a few steps by writing some short and cute notes like. “1 universe, 8 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas and i had the privilege of meeting you.”
and he kept the note!!! Do you think that he really likes me back or do you just think that he is playing me?? Yesterday he basically told me that i was smart. he said “hey, if i work with you more often maybe then i will get smarter.
Lisa Redfield says
I think that you’ve done enough…he already knows you like him. And it seems to me he likes you too. So now just let things happen naturally, and focus on having fun together. Things will come in the right time.
SkinnyBloomer says
I recently told a guy that i’ve liked him for a while now. Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. I became hopeless, till one day I decided to check my phone and he responded. He said that his phone was taken away and he just got it back, and said that I was a great friend as well ( I told him this first and we had been friends before he switched schools ) . However, he said he would have to think about it. I’m positively sure he will say yes ( because he told my friends that he liked me and his best friend told me as well in secert of course ;)! )
But for know here are some tips that I learned:
– Don’t just blurt it out, work up to it
– Be sure that the boy likes you as well ( betters your chances! )
– Make sure you actually talk to the person
hope says
It depends. If you are ready for the worst i.e. to be rejected then go ahead and tell him. After all, what do you have to lose?
IF you are not ready to experience direct rejection, especially i he hasn’t shown any signs of him liking you then o would keep it quiet. Flirting is a good way to assess his ‘possible’ interest.
Loubna says
I used to like a guy during my erasmus year at uni. Sometimes he would come talking to me sometimes not. It was kinda confusing. Then, I wanted to know how he was in real so I kinda played him online by creating a fake account. He accepted the request and he messaged first. We both kept messaging for three weeks. He wanted to meet without knowing who that fake girl was. He even said he is single and he was talking about himself.
Then, at some point he realised the person their was fake but he kept on messaging and wanted to meet etc. One day, he pretended to know who I was and said ‘i know who you are but it’s fine. I just want you to tell me yourself and everything will be fine’. So, believing him, i told him who I was.
He lied. He didn’t know it was me. He asked me why I did it. It didn’t get pretty. I told him the truth that I was interested. He asked me if I like him. After saying yes, he said ‘the truth is I am now with someone so you better stop’. I told him he said there was no one when he was messaging himself. he replied ‘not everything i said was the truth. you believed what you wanted to believe’.
Well, I apologised in the end for playing him online and then I cut off contact with him.
It’s a good thing I didn’t see him again after what happened cause I got back home. But he really showed on there how a cheater he is and very disrespectful.
What do you think Lisa?
Lisa Redfield says
I think that this guy is someone not to be trusted. I would forget about him as soon as I can.
Tara B says
Seriously great post. You stopped me from embarrassment
Nicole says
I shared with a guy that I was interested in him. His respond was “You’re a beautiful girl with a huge heart but I’m sorry I don’t know where my head is with dating at the moment.” I told him I could relate as well because the idea of dating scares me. He continued saying “I believe you should always follow your heart and go for it! You didn’t lose anything but had something to gain.” What does this mean? Do I take this at face value? Or is he not interested in me?
Lisa Redfield says
It means that right now he is not interested but may be interested in the future. I wouldn’t hang around and wait though.
Pearlyn from Singapore says
So I told my classmate that i liked him and he was like k can… how can i salvage?stop the swkardness between us ?
Kira says
Hey there,
Thank you for this post and I just wanted to say what I was going through and maybe y’all can help me out. I am 19 and he is 24 and we’re both single. So me and this guy I really, really like are both followers of Christ and we both love Jesus and we always hang out within our youth and church or other youth events. I’ve known this guy for about four years and that is how long I’ve liked him for. He lost his parents when he was a young boy and maybe that could’ve led to struggle starting a relationship with anyone or making a move but I don’t know it’s just my inference. Anyways so we hang out every now and then but just with like the youth also. So my point I’m trying to make is that I know he is single and I’ve heard people say that he doesn’t have any really close friends but he is friendly with everyone. He is a very sweet guy and as I said earlier really firm in his faith like me. I really want to tell him how I feel but I am scared that if I tell him and he says no it will constantly be awkward and if I tell him and he says yes that further on he might decide that the only reason he said yes is to be nice and that I maybe forced him to say yes. I might be overthinking this but it is just eating me up and I don’t know what to do. If y’all have advise that would be great.
Zgirl says
You will be seeing this guy after you’ve told him…. that’s every time you go to church.. besides your’e his closest friend right now. Are you willing to risk him losing that (and feeling uncomfortable if he doesn’t like you like that?) I should say, i am currently in the same situation. I see this guy at church everyday after I’ve told him how I feel.. He likes me but not romantically he said.. I respect his feelings, but seeing him each time hurts.. By the way, he was showing all those “i like you signs” cause he’s a “nice guy”. So don’t be quick to misread his signals.. It could just be that he’s really happy for your friendship. See how long you can hold off telling him how you feel. Also I advise you to pray about it. God knows what’s best for you both. No need to rush.
Ava says
I told a guy that I like him. He just said you are a great friend ( like get original ) and I guess we can just figure out where this is headed. What does this mean?
Lisa Redfield says
I think it means that for now you are in the friend zone. Here’s a post that’ll help: https://howtogetaguytowantyou.com/escaping-the-friend-zone/
Sabrina says
Hey guess what? I flirted with the guy I like and wore nice outfits and smiled at him… And then out of the blue, he asked me out yesterday! So woo hoo! Thx for ur advice Lisa!
Lisa Redfield says
Great! Have fun!:)
Anu says
You are right! Right now im in a confusion I like this guy but I dnt want to tell him my feelings cuz im scared that he will turn away from me and break our friendship… Im really confused this is killing me
Mercy Ramms says
Hi
thanks for great tips. I think you are right, telling a guy you like him first is a very bad idea. It is not fair thou that women can’t make first moves on guys. I just think guys need to be rescued sometimes even if that means facing the rejection. life is too short , if you like someone, tell them if they don’t feel the same way then great , life goes on.
Mercy Ramms, Johannesburg, SA
Jackie Orellana says
I like this guy, he has beautiful blue eyes recently I text him and let him know how I feel. Now I feel embarrassed because he never reply. You are right Liza !!! Man should chase us. I am trying to get over and it hurts. Please give some advice on how to get over and move forward. I feel a shame. I thought he liked me. He gave me mix signals. Oh well, live and learn. Thanks for sharing. Jackie Orellana from NJ
Scarlett Meyer says
sorry i told a guy i liked him to same happened