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Is He Serious About Me or Just Playing? (12 Signs to Check)

2020/02/11 by Lisa Redfield 14 Comments

Is he serious about me or just playing?

The beginning of A relationship is so darn confusing.

You know you really like this guy.

He is definitely courting you, being attentive, and saying some of the things you crave to hear.

But:

Is he really into you?

Is he serious about you?

is he serious about me

Is he planning to stick around? or are there signs he doesn’t love you?

You want to know if he is ready to commit – well, you’ve come to the right place.

In this post, you’ll find the best ways to know if he is serious about your relationship, or sees it as just a fling.

Ready? Start counting the signs. The more you find – the better the chances.

Overview

  • How to Know if a Guy is Serious in Courting You – 12 Signs
    • 1. The Little Known Facebook Clue
    • 2. There are no Competitors 
    • 3. He Wants to Help
    • 4. He Brings Chicken Soup
    • 5. He is Transparent
    • 6. He Makes an Effort
    • 7. He Mentions Being Exclusive
    • 8. He Wants You to Meet His Parents
    • 9. He Offers You a Key
    • 10. He Trusts You
    • 11. He Makes Long Term Plans With You
    • 12. He Is Willing to Take Things Slow

How to Know if a Guy is Serious in Courting You – 12 Signs

Here are the best ways to know a guy wants a serious relationship with you:

1. The Little Known Facebook Clue

signs he is serious

No, I’m not talking about friending you on Facebook.

I’m talking about HIS friends Facebooking you.

None of his friends would send a friend request to a girl that isn’t sticking around.

If you get a torrent of new Facebook friend requests from his friends, it’s because they can tell he is dead serious about you.

It’s one of the best clues that he is here to stay.

2. There are no Competitors 

You are the only girl he is involved with. There are no other women.

If there are other girls close to him in this early phase, he’d cut them off or will be willing to once he is ready for a serious relationship.

However:

👉 Read: My boyfriend has a girl best friend – what do I do?

3. He Wants to Help

He doesn’t disappear when you mention you are moving or having to do something.

If he is into you, he’ll use this chance to see you and look for ways to help you out so he can be around you.

He will try to fix that chair for you.

4. He Brings Chicken Soup

ways to know he is here to stay

One of the best signs that he serious about you is if he comes around when you are sick.

If he doesn’t mind cuddling with a sweaty ball of oozing mucus, he definitely sees a future with you.

If he makes you (or just buys you) soup and hangs around while you pile up a mountain of tissues around you – you are more than just a fling.

5. He is Transparent

If he is transparent about his routine, and what he is about to do all day, and volunteers the information, he is not just playing with you.

(👉Read: How to make a player  fall in love with you)

You know he is in the gym in the morning and that he’ll meet you at 7 PM, and he arrives. On time. No excuses and cancellations.

If he is “missing” and doesn’t answer your call or gets back to you for a few hours, there’s always a credible explanation.

You won’t be wondering – what is he doing now? And why hasn’t he called me?

6. He Makes an Effort

He makes an effort to actually see you.

All the good morning texts and calls throughout the day don’t matter if he doesn’t put the effort to see you face to face.

No matter how busy he is, he makes it his priority to see whenever he can. No excuses, no lies or broken promises.

Of course, this won’t apply if you are in a long distance relationship.

7. He Mentions Being Exclusive

exclusive couple

Oh, the exclusive word.

If he brings up not wanting to date anyone else, it’s one of the best signs that you are the only one on his mind, and in his heart.

You are more than enough for him.

8. He Wants You to Meet His Parents

He doesn’t avoid meeting your friends and your family, no matter how early is it in your relationship.

Most guys will avoid meeting your family if they’re not serious, for obvious reasons.

And this goes the other way of course:

If he introduces you to his friends and takes to their favorite places to hang out, he is very much into you, and only you.

9. He Offers You a Key

A guy won’t give a girl a key to his place unless he is ready for a serious relationship.

If he slipped you the key, he plans on you using it, and he doesn’t mind you “snooping” around when he is not home.

He is ready to be vulnerable, to be exposed, and to fully open his heart and his life to you.

Do you need more than that? I wouldn’t.

10. He Trusts You

He opens up about his life struggles. He values your opinion and asks for your help. This is because he knows you have his best interest at heart.

(👉 Want more things to talk to him about? Here are 34 topics to talk about with your boyfriend!)

He wants you to know every side of him and wants you to be his best friend.

Trust is extremely important for guys (and everyone really), and if he trusts you – he wants you.

It’s as simple as that.

11. He Makes Long Term Plans With You

When he makes plans about the future (no matter how small these plans are) – he considers you. You are a part of his plan.

If he wants to go on a weekend vacation, he wants you to come with him.

If he plans to move, it won’t be to a place far away from you.

When he makes big decisions in his life he considers you in them. You will be included in his plans, no matter what.

12. He Is Willing to Take Things Slow

He doesn’t disappear on you if you don’t sleep with him after the first three dates.

(👉Read: Why do guys distance themselves after intimacy?)

He sticks around even if you say you are not ready. For anything.

Even if you’re not ready for sex, or not ready to meet his parents, or not ready to hold hands in public.

He waits because you are worth the wait. Because what are a few weeks compared to a life he plans to spend with you.

Conclusion

The guy who wants to be your boyfriend is excited about you. He calls you for no reason, he makes an effort to see you.

He doesn’t make excuses, lies, or breaks promises without a reliable reason.

He will offer to date you and you alone. He won’t play games.

When you are around a guy like that, everything is transparent and clear.

You won’t wonder if he’ll call you or text you.

You won’t be confused about his relationships with other girls.

If most of these signs do not appear within, say, 2 months or so, you’re probably not dating your boyfriend.

That’s enough time for him to figure out if wants a real relationship with you.

If you’ve found most of these signs – congratulations.

If you didn’t find most of these tell-tale signs – and you don’t want to lose Him – find out how to make him fall for you – fast.

Did you count? Let me know your results in the comments below and share your story with us.

Rooting for ya,

Lisa

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Filed Under: Relationship Commitment

Comments

  1. Mamuh Kromah says

    2021/07/06 at 7:23 am

    Hi, the guy I’m dating has shown almost all of these signs.
    He is sweet and loving, his parents and friends know me. He’s busy but will always find time to text and calls me throughout the day.

    But my only fear is, he’s a Christian and I’m a Muslim and I don’t want to lose he, what should I do?
    His parents accepted me, I’m afraid if my parents will accept him as a Christian.

    I need your advice on this Lisa.

    Reply
  2. Cha says

    2019/06/06 at 3:48 pm

    I got 9 out of 12. He isn’t my man but a suitor. He just broke up with his ex last March then he talked to me and confessed that he likes me in April. I rejected the guy almost four times but he kept coming back. Now, we’re in good terms. I must admit that I like him but I’m holding my feelings because we’re in a very complicated situation. I knew his ex. His friend likes me. So what really bothers me right now is I’m holding my feelings for him because I’m afraid that he’s just using me to get over his ex. Although he proved that he’s really serious to me. I don’t know what to do i like him but I feel like I shouldn’t. Any advice??

    Reply
    • Lisa Redfield says

      2019/06/07 at 5:41 am

      I think that it’s not really possible to “hold” your feelings… that’s something your mind tells you, but emotions are there, reminding you of their presence every chance they have. You can’t hold your feelings, you can only hold your actions. First be true to yourself, because it’s you that you’re lying to. These days I feel like we should all open our hearts and take risks. Yes, we may get hurt – but we’ll learn something from it if we do, we evolve from it. If we don’t try we’ll never know, right?
      This is just what I think…I hope this helps.

      Reply
  3. Julia says

    2019/01/24 at 4:59 pm

    Hi! The guy im “Dating” has shown most of these signs. He’s super sweet, pays for meals, and has even given me a couple of small gifts. When i was at his house for the first time, I told him I wasn’t ready for sex and he respected that and said he will wait until I’m ready. But he had a lot of kind of personal sex-related questions and was asking me why I don’t want to have sex yet. After I explained he didn’t ask anything else. He said we could meet like once a week at his place, which doesn’t seem like a good sign to me. Shouldn’t we even go on real dates, not only at his place? More than just once a week? Any advice? Thank you

    Reply
    • Lisa Redfield says

      2019/01/27 at 8:29 am

      I think that your gut is right, and you may want to insist on dating and not meeting at his place. Go with your inner voice = it’s always right.

      Reply
  4. Antoneth Macabales says

    2018/08/01 at 3:00 pm

    Hi,my classmate in high school wants to have a relationship with me but me and my friends know that he is a playboy and they don’t trust him to be my boyfriend…
    My friends told me if he is willing to be my boyfriend then we need to see his effort to make us believe that he is trully inlove with memwe made a dare to see his patience,if he succeed he will be my boyfriend but if he failed we will be friends.

    Reply
  5. Sia says

    2018/05/24 at 4:25 pm

    In my case he trusts me and sometimes talk he wants to be with me only but he doesn’t put that much effort to see me, this part is eating me out.
    What should I do?

    Reply
    • Lisa Redfield says

      2018/05/29 at 5:42 am

      I would stop making an effort to see him as well, and see what happens then.

      Reply
      • KwonSalu says

        2018/10/12 at 12:51 pm

        Hi, in my case…I have this guy who is courting me but I can’t help but wonder if he is really serious about me that’s why i wanted to ask you something…He makes efforts all the time. He makes me smile. He makes me laugh. But he is always asking if I’ll be his girlfriend or not even though only a month passed. Is he serious or not? He’s keeps on asking me that’s why I always push my thoughts on being his gf

        Reply
        • Lisa Redfield says

          2018/10/14 at 5:14 am

          I think that he really just wants to be your boyfriend… 🙂

          Reply
  6. Ann says

    2018/01/02 at 4:12 am

    I have a 5 out of 12 but my guy is transient and works overseas. Do I stay or do I go?

    Reply
    • Lisa Redfield says

      2018/01/02 at 6:41 am

      How do you feel about him? In this case it’s the most important thing to consider…

      Reply
  7. Paris says

    2017/10/13 at 2:43 pm

    Hi,
    Interesting but i have a question.
    My boyfriend shown all these signs, we had a wonderful relationship but last month he suddenly announced that he is not sure that i am the one for him and left.
    Should i wait for him to change his mind or not?

    Thanks
    Paris

    Reply
    • Lisa Redfield says

      2017/10/15 at 6:00 am

      I think you should not wait for anything. Use this time to boost your self esteem and focus on yourself. If it’s meant to be, he’ll come back. Good luck!

      Reply

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