– I thought things were going great. Why did he disappear?
– The more I try to get close to him, the more distant and cold he becomes.
– Why didn’t he call? I thought we had the most romantic night.
– Where is he? He used to text and call me all the time, but suddenly he stopped.
– Why do I always end up with the losers?
– Did I do something wrong?
Unfortunately, the answer to the last question is yes. You did something wrong.
But it’s not your fault.
It’s not your fault that men think and act the way they do and it’s not your fault you followed your heart and said and did things without filtering.
You can break down the toughest guy’s walls, make him beg for you to be with him forever, make him bend over backward to please you – without playing games.
No more staring at your phone waiting for a text.
No more “it’s not you it’s me”. No more disappearing acts. That is if you avoid making the deadly dating mistakes woman make, time and time again:
Overview
The 10 Worst Dating Mistakes Women Make
The following dating mistakes can turn off the most interested guy you’ve ever met, leaving you confused and upset, wondering what went wrong even when everything seemed perfect.
1. Jumping the Gun
Don’t start the race before the starting pistol is fired.
Revealing your feelings for him before HE does, is the most common and sad mistake I hear about every day. You have to understand and accept that guys need a challenge.
👉 Read: Should I tell him I like him – first?
It hasn’t changed in the last million years and it never will (even if they won’t admit it!).
Telling him you like him/in love with him FIRST, eliminates the chase – a big turn off for guys.
Plus, what happens if he doesn’t feel the same YET? His silence will break your heart and all you’ll want to do is run away and hide under a rock.
No matter how much you crave to tell him, you have to be patient and give him time to realize how he feels about you before you say anything to him.
Asking him about how he feels, the awkward “do you like me” question, is a big no-no too, for the same reasons.
2. Needing, Clinging, Chasing
This mistake is yet again based on the fact that guys need the chase.
Do not blow up his phone with calls and texts, no matter how cute they are.
Do not look for ways to bump into him “accidentally”. And never call him or text him first after the first time you’ve had sex.
You can be the ultimate feminist and send him flowers and chocolate every day, or you can keep the guy.
It’s up to you.
According to relationship expert Michael Fiore, neediness is the #1 mistake women make when they try to make a guy fall for them.
3. Bed Time
Yes, I’m going to repeat the cliché. Sleeping with him too soon is still one of the worst dating mistakes women make – of all time.
The usual outcome is never hearing from him again.
Even if it was perfect, even if you felt a connection, even if you cuddled until morning and he made you breakfast in bed.
You need your guy to be attached to you emotionally before you are intimate.
When he is head over heels for you before you have sex it will only deepen and strengthen your relationship, not tear it apart.
👉 Read: Why do guys distance themselves after intimacy?
4. Ignoring Red Flags
Love is as blind as a bat. When you’re in love, noticing the red flags is challenging, even if they’re blood-red.
When a guy says “I’m not ready for a relationship”, or “I have trust issues”, or “it’s not the right time for a relationship” – please believe him.
He is not playing games. He’s telling the truth (for now).
Don’t be surprised that the moment things get serious (no matter how glorious the time you spent together was) he stops texting, calling and makes something up about his demanding job or his aunt’s sudden illness.
I know it’s hard, but you can’t ignore the signs of an emotionally unavailable guy.
The good news is that you CAN change things.
👉 You CAN break down his walls. See how to do it – HERE.
5. Long Distance Relationships
Having a long-distance relationship is not a dating mistake.
But:
Starting a new relationship when you live hundreds of miles away from each other is doomed to fail and break your heart.
LDRs are hard enough for long-term married couples but impossible for new couples, who know nothing about each other and are not even “officially” in love.
You’ll end up constantly missing him, wondering if he’s seeing other women, and spend your days counting his texts and over-analyzing every single word he says to you.
Do yourself a favor and avoid dating from afar. Relationships are hard enough without this.
But:
6. Respect
We are all controlled by our ego (mostly), but guys are especially tricky. Their ego is extremely sensitive to respect.
A recent survey found that guys would rather be unloved and alone than unrespected.
Most of them consider these 2 feelings as the same.
Unrespected = Unloved.
You may not be aware of it, but you can make a guy feel unrespected, completely unknowingly. And if you do it all the time, it may be the reason you can’t keep a man (or think you can’t).
James Bauer explains all about it and how you turn any man from distant and cold to adoring, loving and ready for commitment – using the respect principle.
7. Low Self Esteem
The way you think about yourself is the way others will think of you. If you put yourself down, focus on your flaws and your past mistakes, that’s how he will see you too. You don’t have to pretend to be someone other than yourself.
Just avoid the negative self-talk, like “why would anyone want to date me”, or “No wonder my ex-boyfriend dumped me”.
Try to avoid apologizing frequently and exhibiting self-doubting behavior. Don’t look for constant feedback from him. Accept compliments.
Low self-esteem is not voluntary, I know, but ways to overcome it are easy to find. Don’t let it destroy your chance of a loving relationship.
8. Marriage & Babies
Again, you have to let him lead. Just because you’re dating for a month now, doesn’t mean that you have to start talking about how your children will look like.
Hinting or directly talking about your fantasy wedding day and the fact that you want 5 children are not recommended before you move in together and he’s the one initiating the talk.
9. Dirty Laundry
Whatever you do, avoid talking trash about your ex-boyfriends. In fact, do not talk about your exes at all, unless he specifically asks about them (he probably won’t).
Guys want to be excited about a new relationship, instead of feeling they’ll have to “clean up the mess” from your past relationships.
Plus, talking sh*t about your ex will make your guy realize that this is how you’ll talk about him too if you break up.
10. Pleasing The Player
I know. Dating a player is so hard to avoid if you’re crushing on one. Players are usually charismatic, funny, attractive, and know their “worth”.
They’re like a box of chocolates for the fasting monk. If you insist upon dating a player, do everything you can to stand out in the crowd.
Do not be available to him at all times, say no, do not compliment him and build his ego.
That’s what all the other women he flirts with do. You have to be different.
👉 Read: How to make a player fall for you
Bottom Line
Can you imagine making any guy see you as his one and only?
Making any guy you want to adore you and show you the kind of affection you deserve, while fully committing to you?
Avoiding the worst dating mistakes women make will get you 99% there. It’s so simple it’s embarrassing.
What about you? What’s the worst dating mistake you ever made? I’d love to read your story.
Rooting for ya,
Lisa
Sophie says
He really like me and wanted to be something more and that next week he ignored me so I asked if we were still together and he said he’s and that he’d try to fix what was bothering me but nothing changed and he then text me and said so just friends and I said we talked more when we were just friends bc now u ignore me so he said ok just friends but we used to be so close and now he won’t even talk to me. He says he likes me but he’s not showing any love or affection so I get mad and confused wondering if he actually does. So right now I’m just giving him space and not talking or text him. What should I do??
Jessie says
How do you salvage a man’s feelings for you when he was crazy about you and everything was wonderful but you had some emotional issues that came out way too early in the dating scene (in the form of serious discussions that were just too much pressure for him and began tainting how he felt about spending time with you)? We already broke it off and he wants to keep talking to me and hanging out with me. Clearly, there’s a little bit of confusion in letting me go completely. He just doesn’t want to continue this pattern of serious discussions and I feel he began to lose interest in me at least romantically at that point. He wouldn’t put an exclusive title on us even though neither of us were dating or sleeping with anyone else. And he told me that he was likely to consider dating others within the past few weeks before this breaking point because of how he had been feeling. I don’t want to delude myself. I know I have to now address my issues on my own, and move on. But how do I get him to see me the way he did before I tainted the relationship? Can this be fixed?
Lisa Redfield says
Yes, it can be fixed, but not by making him see you the way he saw you before. You are who you are and the only chance of real love is if both you accept each other and like each other – just the way you are – the good with the bad. This is only my opinion of course.
Moria says
i like him too much his crazy and funny,we cuddle and kiss all day but he has not yet say he likes me we have known each other for a month and days.was thinking of making a step.what should i do?
Lisa Redfield says
What kind of step? 🙂
Rosemary says
Girl, I believe cuddling and kissing is the step after starting a relationship not before.